Submission is a complex issue for many women. Although it is central to the practice of Christian Domestic Discipline, many women shy away from any mention of submission because it conjures up images of women meekly obeying their husbands, women who have repressed all their own personal characteristics and have become meek and servile. There are many women who practice Christian Domestic Discipline in their home, who receive a good spanking when they have misbehaved, but who will loudly deny that they are in any way submissive.
Being submissive does not mean behaving like a doormat.
Women who believe this are usually the ones who will be the first to deny that they are in any way submissive. This is because they misunderstand what submissiveness is all about. Being submissive does not mean losing your personality and becoming a doormat with no opinions, no ideas and no zest for life. Submission is not about that. Submission is about getting in touch with the deepest parts of your femininity, parts that many women deny or repress. When a woman does get in touch with these feminine characteristics that lie deep within her own psyche, she will suddenly and brilliantly flower, because all the energy that she previously dedicated to repressing parts of her own character has been suddenly liberated. All that energy can now be put to use expressing who she really is, as a beautiful and free woman, instead of being tightly locked inside her, crushing her own self identity.
Let’s consider sex.
Not because Christian Domestic Discipline is necessarily sexual, but because sexuality is intimately connected to feminine submissive urges. This is because submission and surrender is central to the female experience of sex and lovemaking. If you are a woman who has been making love all her adult life and yet has never felt especially submissive, you may wonder why submission could be one of the most important features in a woman’s experience of sex. The answer is very simple. Without a woman’s surrender, consensual sex would just not be possible. And since the planet is crowded with billions of people who have almost all been conceived in this way, there must be a lot of submission going on.
When a man and a woman are about to make love, the simple act of the woman in opening her thighs so that the man can lie between her legs is a physically submissive act. A woman can open her thighs lovingly, or eagerly, or coyly, or hungrily, or lustfully, or sweetly, but she cannot open them in an aggressive or dominating way. Opening is not dominating. Opening is submissive. It is welcoming, receptive and accepting.
The same principle applies to the moment when the woman parts the lips of her sex and allows herself to be penetrated by the man. Penetration is an active process for the man and a passive process for the woman. This is a simple physical fact which has nothing to do with whether the woman is a feisty and independent female in everyday life or whether she is a meek and mild female who always defers to her husband. Without the physical surrender inherent in the simple act of sexual penetration, women could not have consensual sex. If the woman does not submit to the thrusts of her man, she cannot make love. Thus we see that sexual pleasure in the most basic human act of lovemaking is entirely dependent on female submission. Submission leads directly to sexual enjoyment for the woman. Without submission, there is no penetration, there is no pleasure and there is no love.
Other female behaviors during lovemaking also are inherently yet unconsciously submissive and surrendering. Often a woman will raise her arms above her head while she is being penetrated by the man. This opens and exposes her underarms in a gesture of total abandon and submission. Usually, she will also cross her wrists above her head. This wrist-crossing is another unconscious yet sweetly submissive act performed by millions of women around the world every day. It is as if she was saying wordlessly to her man, “Look, I am yours. I am surrendering to you so fully that I will not even use my arms to attempt to control your movements while you thrust deeply into me. I abandon myself to you and I cross my wrists above my head as if I were tied up and helpless.” Most women will cross their wrists above their head in this way, even though they may not be into domestic discipline or any kind of BDSM activity. But they are all women and they all have submissive instincts that come to the fore most strongly during sex, which is when they are at their most feminine.
Even women who repress their own femininity will usually allow it to flower during sex, because sex is where the difference between the masculine and the feminine is completely undeniable. A woman cannot pretend to be masculine when she is making love, because she is confronted with the simple physical reality that her man is masculine and she is not. She cannot penetrate him, but he can penetrate her. She can only surrender to his penetration and thereby achieve sexual union. Without submission and femininity there can be no sexual intercourse between a man and a woman. If a man wanted someone who was not feminine, he would go and have gay sex with a man.
The reason that heterosexual intercourse is so pleasurable for the couple is because of the flow of masculine and feminine energy it creates between the man and the woman. The man feels the joy of his woman’s feminine energy surrounding him and surrendering to him, while the woman feels herself penetrated, possessed and protected by her man’s masculine energy. Sex is the most common area in which this two way flow of masculine and feminine energy takes place.
Sexuality is one of the central features of human existence.
Without it, the human race would have died out long ago. So it is not surprising that sex occupies a large part of our awareness and has an important role to play in our psyches. Naturally, the role that sex plays in a woman’s psyche is mainly determined by a woman’s experience of sex. And since submission is a key aspect of a woman’s experience of sex, it follows logically that submission plays a big role in the female psyche, whether a woman chooses to acknowledge that fact or not.
Submission and the ability to submit to the man are beneficial for the woman for a number of reasons. Firstly, submission is natural and healthy for a woman. It is part of being a woman. It is part of feminine sexuality which is an integral part of being a woman. Secondly, submission helps a woman to fulfil her femininity. Without submission and surrender, a woman might look like a woman from the outside, but inside she knows that she is just playing at being a woman. She is pretending to be a woman. She is not yet a REAL woman. Being a real woman means acknowledging the force of her feminine nature and giving in to its power. You cannot be a real woman by denying your femininity.
Thirdly, for a woman to deny or repress her feminine need to submit or surrender will cause stress and frustration.
All repression causes some form of stress and lack of ease. Denying your feminine urges when you are a woman is a fairly substantial and serious way of repressing a part of yourself. Repressing yourself is not a good idea, because how can you deny who you really are? How can a man deny that he is a man? How can a woman deny that she is a woman? Can you imagine what kind of internal stress that kind of denial will generate? Can you imagine what kind of frustration that will cause? A woman needs only to take off her clothes and stand in front of the mirror to see that she is female. To pretend otherwise is like saying that the normal color of the sky is purple and green.
Fourthly, when a woman denies her need to surrender to her man, she reduces the meaning and the pleasure that she gets from making love.
She is trying to make love as a genderless, neutered being, which she is most definitely not. She is female, she is feminine, she has the same kind of experiences as all other women.
There are many reasons why women choose to deny their feminine natures and their submissive urges. Some of the most common are things like the influence of feminism, the power of the media, the expectations of friends and family. These are all very significant forces which affect the way that most women behave. But ultimately they are not as important as what a woman believes inside herself.
The most potent inhibitor of a woman’s femininity is her own attitude.
Regardless of the effect of the media, the feminist movement and the people around her, the main reason that a woman chooses to repress her femininity is because she herself is somehow afraid of it. Many women fear that expressing their femininity will overwhelm them, will make them too vulnerable, will make them too easily hurt. This is not true, of course, but many people have secret beliefs inside them which are not true. A woman’s fear of her own femininity is an extremely destructive belief because it holds her back from being who she really is and it affects everyone around her negatively.
When a woman has unconsciously decided that her femininity and submissiveness need to be repressed, she may also get very angry when other people do not agree with this decision. She may become quite annoyed when she hears someone say that femininity should not be repressed. After all, she has put so much energy into repressing it in herself, it would be pretty annoying if that had been a total waste of energy all along. Which it is. She knows that too, but it just makes her even angrier. She can get really angry towards submissive and feminine women because they are behaving in direct opposition to her own beliefs. Her mind will manufacture all sorts of good reasons as to why she is justified in her anger and why these submissive women are traitors to their own gender. Ultimately, however, these reasons are excuses generated by her mind and have nothing to do with reality, either hers or other women’s.
Sex is the primary area in which the flow of masculine and feminine energy takes place between the man and the woman.
It is not the only area, however. There are a number of other different ways of re-establishing and enhancing the energy flow between the man and the woman. One of the best techniques is known as Christian Domestic Discipline. Women who have agreed to some form of domestic discipline arrangement with their husband or boyfriend have agreed that they, as a woman, will be subject to their man’s guidance in relation to their behavior, actions and speech. If the woman’s behavior does not match up to the standards agreed initially by the couple, then the woman will be physically disciplined by the man in order to teach her a lesson.
Even if the woman is not obviously submissive in day to day life, a Christian Domestic Discipline situation is ideal for bringing out her submissive and feminine tendencies. It is ideal for encouraging the flow of masculine and feminine energy. The reason for this is fairly simple. The disciplinary process of spanking the woman is obviously going to require the submission, either willing or forced, of the woman. During the spanking, the woman experiences the flow of masculine and feminine energy increasing and is gradually brought around to a submissive point of view, where she accepts her husband’s role as the Head of Household (HOH) and the wrongness of her behavior or attitude. She submits to his guidance which is delivered verbally through scolding her and physically through spanking her. By the time that the spanking is over, she should have been brought to the point where she has submitted fully to the man and where she is feeling completely feminine and surrendered. The wonderful intimacy that most couples experience after a disciplinary session is due to the unobstructed flow of energy between the man and the woman. This energy flow is inhibited by negative actions, beliefs and attitudes on the part of the woman, and by the man’s failure or inability to take control of the misbehaving woman.
There are plenty of books about a woman’s submission in marriage, so there is no need to go into the subject in great detail here. As far as Christian Domestic Discipline is concerned, submission will always benefit a relationship and enhance the effect of any Christian Domestic Discipline spanking. For women who are finding that their husband is not being sufficiently strict with her or is not being completely consistent in disciplining her for misbehavior, practicing submission on a daily basis will generally improve the situation.