A number of women have written to me, expressing their concerns and fears about being disciplined in a state of nudity. This is obviously a big issue for many women. A lot of different women now have major issues about their own body image. That is exactly why the article called “Nudity” was written – to encourage these women and their HOH’s to face up to this problem that is making so many women unhappy, and to do something about it. Since the message on nudity didn’t seem to get through completely on the first try, this article (Nudity 2) is a follow up to further explain and reinforce the ideas about nudity and body image that were presented in the first article. This new article is also purposely written in language that is more simple and direct (though not crude) than the first one, so that the message gets across as clearly as possible.
Nudity in Domestic Discipline
Some women feel quite panicky about the prospect of having to remove their clothes before discipline – sometimes they are even more worried about being naked than they are about the pain of the spanking they are about to endure. Many women are quite comfortable with the idea of being spanked for misbehavior, but are horrified at the thought of having to be naked during this process. Other women have sent emails asking if there are any loopholes in this recommendation – if partial nudity during discipline is acceptable, and if so, how much? If you are a woman in a Loving Domestic Discipline relationship, you shouldn’t be looking for loopholes, because loopholes are for lawyers. If you have ever tried to follow a diet and discovered loopholes in the diet’s rules, you should already know that most loopholes are often a direct route to failure, not success. It is the same with Loving Domestic Discipline.
If you don’t want to be fully naked when you are punished, that is OK – different couples prefer to use different approaches. But you also need to reflect on why just thinking about being nude makes you really panicky. Many women get really panicky just thinking about receiving a punishment spanking, yet they still submit, and the spanking does them a world of good in changing their attitudes and correcting their misbehavior. Does this mean that their spankings should stop because these women get panicky beforehand? Obviously not. In fact, the panicky feelings can actually help to increase the effectiveness of the woman’s punishment.
If your body has changed after having had children, you have a number of choices:
(1) Hide your body away until you die,
(2) Change your body (through exercise, dieting, etc) and/or
(3) Change your thinking.
I think that the first choice is a really, really bad one. Don’t you? The second choice is OK and quite healthy too. It is highly recommended. The third choice is the vital one, the most important one. It is why the original article was written. If you don’t like your body, you had better do something about it. How is your husband going to like your body if you don’t like it yourself? The more you hate your body, the more you will run it down – you won’t feed it properly, you won’t exercise it properly. Eventually, it WILL look really bad, because you gave up on it years earlier.
If you are distraught about being naked, then that sounds like a very important issue that you need to resolve. You can use prayer, therapy, meditation, whatever. Any of those will work fine. You can also consider using Loving Domestic Discipline. Ultimately, all those techniques are equally scary in the end. Because it is not the technique that is scary – it is your own fear about your body that scares you. If your current approach to the problem means that you want to hide your body away underneath an Afghan-style burkha, you need to either make some progress in your own thinking or, alternatively, consider buying a Pashtu phrasebook and a plane ticket to Kabul.
Some people think the problem lies with men. If men would just stop looking at women so much, then we wouldn’t have this pesky body image problem. Legislation to stamp out all forms of pornography and erotica are a manifestation of this desire to stop men looking at women. The male gaze is a popular topic of feminist theory. But there are only two logical and effective solutions to this problem: either surgically blind all men so that they cannot see anything at all, or else cover up all women so that they become like the women who live in tribal areas of Afghanistan – completely covered and “safe” from the male gaze. Fortunately, neither of these two approaches has proven popular in more socially and economically advanced countries, which is good news for the men and women living in these nations.
Benefits of Domestic Discipline
One of the biggest benefits of Loving Domestic Discipline is that it can teach a woman to not be ashamed of her own body. There are people in our societies who are missing arms and legs, or have had serious surgical interventions. Many women have had children, which is quite obviously much less of a big deal than some other people with serious handicaps or surgeries. But even if there were no other people with worse problems than yourself, you still need to focus on getting a better body image for yourself. You don’t have to do it using Loving Domestic Discipline, but at least that is a proven technique. It would be really good for your self-esteem and general happiness if you were able to make some progess on the issue of body image.
Everyone has different priorities. Different women have different priorities for their practice of Loving Domestic Discipline. Maybe you are using Loving Domestic Discipline to solve all sorts of problems that are much more urgent and important to you right now than the body image question. But if your husband can gradually and gently increase the amount of nudity that you have during your spankings, that would be really beneficial for you. You could do it in stages – just lift your upper clothing an inch higher every time you are disciplined. Of course it might fall down during the wriggling and moving that can occur during a spanking – but maybe you could even tape your clothing in place so that it does not fall down, or maybe you could come up with a better solution yourself. You could consider removing your top but keeping your bra on – that is a useful, intermediate compromise that might be less scary for some women.
Many women would find it much harder to have to hold their position while being strapped or paddled by their HOH than to have to remove their clothes for a spanking. That doesn’t make it any easier for you if you find the idea of nudity scary, but at least it gives you some perspective on the problem. What is too scary to consider for one woman might be no big deal for another, and vice versa for a different matter. If a man is married to a woman who does not remove her clothing on command in a Loving Domestic Discipline situation, he should seriously be asking how he could help her with that problem, and what kinds of disciplinary techniques would be useful. His job is to provide loving guidance, to help her to be the best person that she can be, not to let her remain stuck in her bad habits and fears. He should be helping her to grow, even if she is a bit reluctant. He is meant to be the HOH, which means that he should be a leader in the relationship, not a passive observer. He needs to do what is BEST for her, not what is EASIEST for her. And let’s face it – Loving Domestic Discipline is often the best solution to a woman’s misbehavior and attitude problems, even though it is not always the easiest one for either party.
Pride and nudity
Some women see nudity as a question of personal pride. They feel that it is OK to be spanked, but that is it NOT alright to be spanked AND to be naked, because their HOH is cruelly removing their last vestige of personal pride when he tells her to remove her clothes. But nudity is not a question of pride, ultimately. It is a problem of body image, and of obedience. How much pride can a woman have when she is over her husband’s knee, getting spanked and crying her eyes out? What is so proud about that? It sounds very humbling to most people. One of the major effects of Loving Domestic Discipline is to strip away a woman’s pride, because that pride often causes the kind of arrogance that leads to misbehavior in the first place. A woman can be too proud to listen to her husband, or too proud to obey the road laws, or too proud to speak nicely to someone. These instances of pride hurt other people, and so she is punished for that pride. But some kinds of pride hurt the woman herself – especially being too proud to remove her clothes because in fact she is deeply ashamed of her own body. The HOH can let that ride if she has more serious, pressing problems, but sooner or later it is going to come up as an issue again. It will need to be addressed sooner or later.
Your body is a gift from the Creator. To scorn it or to be ashamed of it is to insult Creation, because your body is a part of that creation. You don’t have to be religious to appreciate this either. You can substitute the word ‘nature’ or ‘Gaia’ for ‘Creation’ and it will still mean the same thing. Is a squirrel, or an eagle, or a chipmunk ashamed of its body? Even a worm probably thinks to itself, “Man, I am a cool looking worm!” 🙂 Animals have much better things to do with their time than be ashamed of their bodies.
These two articles on nudity are not meant to be advocating nudism, as in the nudist lifestyle. Most people have no desire to walk around naked with a bunch of weird nude strangers on a beach somewhere. Most nudism is just about sexual exhibitionism anyway, at its true source. But too many women nowadays have big hangups about their own bodies, and regardless of whose fault this is, the only person who can fix this is the woman herself. With a little help from her HOH. Loving Domestic Discipline is not the only way to fix it, but it is one way to fix it, and it is a really effective way. Judging by the number of women with body image problems, many of the other non-spanking approaches to fixing these problems have not worked very well! So maybe it is worth giving the Loving Domestic Discipline approach a try.
There are some women with body image problems because they are overweight. Then there are other women with body image problems who are underweight. And there are many, many women with body image problems who are a PERFECT weight. Do you see the common factor? Hint: it is not weight. The common factor is what is inside each woman’s head. The common factor is what she thinks of herself, not what she actually is! And Loving Domestic Discipline is an excellent technique for helping a woman to think better of herself, regardless of how she actually looks.
After a good Spanking
When a woman has been well-spanked and thoroughly disciplined by her HOH, she tends to be much more loving and grounded. She gives off a kind of satisfaction that other women envy. This is because she feels loved. She feels loved enough by her HOH that he will take the time and energy to discipline her really well, so that she learns her lesson from her punishment. She can also feel loved because she has been disciplined in a state of nudity, so that she has been totally exposed to her husband while he spanks her. She cannot hide anything from him – her body, her thoughts, her emotions. He accepts her in this state too, because he loves her and wants her to improve as a woman and as a wife. So she learns that her nudity is completely acceptable to him, even when she has been disobedient and needs to be punished. Her spanking is her punishment, not her nudity. Her nudity is part of her discipline, not her punishment. By requiring her to be naked during her punishment, her HOH is teaching her that her body is OK. Discipline is a word whose origins come from the idea of teaching or instruction, not punishment. Making a woman strip naked for her spanking is a way to teach her a more positive body image, not a punishment in itself. The spanking is the punishment and the nudity is just a part of the discipline.
When a woman hates her own body, it harms no one but herself. If a man sees his wife harming herself in any way, he would take steps immediately to stop her. Most men would. And all men in a Loving Domestic Discipline relationship would take immediate steps to stop their wives harming themselves. Using a good firm discipline spanking, normally, because they know that is a truly effective way to teach her to respect herself.
Nudity does not have to be total to be effective. If you can’t handle being totally naked, then partial nudity is fine. But to avoid it completely is not great for your self esteem or mental health. Loving Domestic Discipline can really be helpful in teaching a woman to like her own body. If you are a woman in a Loving Domestic Discipline relationship and you have problems with your body image, you are strongly advised to print out this article and give it to your HOH for him to read. If you are an HOH and you have just read this article, you know what to do the next time your wife needs to be disciplined.