A domestic discipline relationship between two loving partners can be a wonderful thing. As one asks, “Is this the key to an orderly household?” Yes, absolutely, it can be the key to an orderly household. It can bring you much closer to your husband, bring peace to your family life, and make you feel freer than you ever dreamed. But there is no doubt in my mind that the absolute corner stone to a domestic discipline relationship is FIRST coming to honest terms with one’s erotic interest in spanking.
It’s easy to understand. For all of our society’s supposed liberated attitudes towards sexuality, a woman who openly acknowledges a sexual interest like this still feels a bit beyond the “pale.” If you’re like me, you hid your interest, (understanding full well it was NOT something you could talk about with your mom) from the time you were very small. And as adults, we’re left with what appears to be a fairly straightforward dichotomy: get spanked to maintain “household order,” and you’re a good obedient wife. Get spanked because it’s kinky and you love it, and just maybe you’re a perverted slut.
If you typed “spanking” into a search engine, you’re erotically interested. Period.
If you’re on this site – I’ve got news for you – you’re erotically interested. And the women who continue to deny this interest, who couch their fetish (and that’s what it is) under a guise of wanting to be an obedient wife, are destined for trouble. I can say unequivocally that I know numerous women who have what I would consider “successful” DD relationships, myself among them. And we share one thing in common. Without exception, we have all come to terms with our erotic interest as well. If you do not acknowledge this – in fact, embrace it – your DD relationship is doomed to failure.
Why? Because if you’re “using” DD to fulfill erotic spanking fantasies, then DD can never work. Many of you will be using information in this book, and material you find elsewhere, to explain this “system” to a husband who may not have a clue about it. He will, understandably, cast it using the framework he understands best: that of childhood punishment. But if you’re using DD to “get” something you’ve wanted for years, which is erotic spanking, the very thing that is supposed to be “punishment” becomes “reward.” And if you set yourself up from the get-go as needing to misbehave to get spanking, it’s easy to see a rather bizarre cycle beginning. And begin this cycle does, in all too many marriages that go down this path. The wife is forced to “brat,” misbehave, and act up to get the spanking she wants, and many couples give up DD because the very thing that was supposed to improve the marriage makes it worse,
Let me reiterate something I said above: If you typed spanking into a search engine, you are erotically interested in spanking. If you bought this book, you are erotically interested in spanking. That does not mean that you are not ALSO interested in having the kind of household DD can give you; I assume that you are.
Trying to convince a husband to spank for DD if he has refused (or will refuse) to spank erotically is invariably a recipe for unhappiness on both partners’ parts.
Be honest with yourself. Be honest with your partner. It’s OK to want to be spanked. And once you’re comfortable with that, then give the idea of DD a good long look. It just might change your life and your marriage.