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Scolding is a crucial part of the process of Domestic Discipline. It can make the difference between a spanking that leaves the woman resentful and dry-eyed afterwards, and a spanking that leaves her tearfully but lovingly promising to behave better next time, as she hugs her HOH and wipes the tears from her eyes. Scolding is important, yet few couples really take the time to examine it in detail. Men who know how to scold their woman successfully and effectively often do it instinctively and intuitively. Other men don’t scold their woman during a spanking and wonder why the discipline doesn’t seem to work as well as it is supposed to.
Scolding is really about telling the woman off. She is scolded to make her realize what she has done wrong, so that she understands why she is being spanked. Her pride and her arrogance may have temporarily blinded her to the consequences and the impact of her feminine misbehavior. By scolding her, her HOH removes the blinkers from her eyes and shows her what she has really done. He makes it clear to her why she is being punished. The justness and fairness of her punishment is also explained to her via the scolding. She does not receive a punishment spanking spuriously – for no reason. There is always a reason and scolding helps to make that reason clear to her.
Scolding also includes telling her how to behave better in future. A woman needs to be told off when she is disciplined for having done the wrong thing, but it is also important to tell her how to do the right thing. So telling her what kind of behavior is expected from her in the future is also part of scolding. It is the positive and reconstructive aspect of scolding, because it lays a foundation for the woman’s future, improved behavior, so that she does not make the same mistake again and be disciplined for the same misbehavior more than once.
Of course, it is entirely possible that a woman be disciplined for the same misbehavior more than once. This does not imply a failure of Domestic Discipline. It instead implies that the causes of misbehavior are often complex and multi-factorial. Her misbehavior can be like an onion – as one layer is peeled away and discarded, another layer is revealed beneath the first one. So each discipline may only remove one layer of a woman’s negative attitude that is responsible for her misbehavior. If the same misbehavior recurs or occurs again, that is usually a sign that another issue needs to be resolved, even though it has resulted in the same misbehavior. For example, if she is disobedient to her HOH, it may be because she has a fear about fulfilling one of her responsibilities, and would rather disobey her HOH than face up to her own fear. His discipline for her disobedience will help her to face up to her fear that is negatively affecting her behavior. Another time, she may disobey him again, but for a different reason. Perhaps this time she has disobeyed him because of a problem that she has with her self-esteem. For some reason, she may undervalue herself. So this time, she should be disciplined not only for her disobedience, but also for her lack of self-respect. In this way, the punishment for her misbehavior will also teach her to maintain a higher level of self-esteem.
Another important reason to scold a woman as part of her Domestic Discipline is based on an important maxim: that truth has a healing effect, especially when it is delivered in a loving way. Truth is healing when it is given with love. Notice that truth alone is not enough. You cannot approach someone that you don’t know very well and whom you don’t really care about, and brutally tell them that they are a failure as a human being because they are too jealous, for example. It may be very true that they are consumed by jealousy, but telling them this fact in a blunt and brutal manner is not going to help them. They will probably go into reaction and start verbally abusing you for your rudeness and unwarranted attack on them. If you see a woman at the supermarket who does not seem to be very successful in managing her children’s bad behavior, you wouldn’t normally go up to her and give her a little lecture on modern child-rearing techniques, because it is not coming from a position of love. It may be coming from your own need to be right, or to prove that you are a better mother, or to preserve your delicate ears from the screams and yells of her unruly children, or some other reason. But if it doesn’t come from a position of love, and if it is not delivered in a loving manner, that truth is not going to help or heal her – it is just going to enrage her. Most of us avoid getting involved because we don’t know how to deliver truth with love, and because we know that we risk an unpleasant confrontation if we provide an unwanted dose of the truth. It is also quite difficult for most people to feel genuine love for a total stranger, even over two millenia after the story of the Good Samaritan.
It is less difficult for a husband to feel genuine love for his wife, however, in spite of her feminine misbehavior. His love for her can be expressed through Domestic Discipline, which also provides him with an opportunity to deliver truth to her in the presence of love. In this way, he can help to heal her negative attitudes which cause her misbehavior in the first place. His scolding of her can be a way for him to tell her a small but important truth about herself that she may not be willing to listen to or hear normally. And because Domestic Discipline is administered with love and because of a man’s love for his woman, the truth of his scolding can touch her heart and help her to become a better person. It can bring her to her senses and show her how mistaken and wrongheaded her attitude or her behavior really is.
When a woman is presented with the real and genuine truth about her own misbehavior, in a loving context, that realization is occasionally enough in itself to bring her to tears, even before her spanking has started. The energy and effort that she expends in propping up her mistaken beliefs create a very brittle structure in her heart that protects her from her own truth. When this brittle structure of self-deception is shattered, she will sometimes burst into tears as a result. It takes a lot of energy to maintain a falsehood in your heart and in your mind. The breaking of this shell of falseness can be emotionally shattering for her, which is why she will often cry when this happens.
If a woman does not burst into tears immediately she hears the truth about her misbehavior, it may be because a residual stubbornness is preventing her from fully realizing the truth that she has been presented with, or because there are other issues complicating the matter. This is where the pain of a good spanking can help to drive the point home to her and bring her to a more complete realization of her misbehavior and of her responsibilities to herself and to other people. Normally a combination of both scolding and sound spanking are necessary to bring a woman to tears of contrition, so you should not be dismayed if the first attempt at scolding does not result in instant sobbing and repentance. This is unlikely to happen in a normal situation. A woman will only burst into tears if she is presented with an especially profound truth that touches the very core of her being. These types of truth are not so common. Most misbehaving women need a good spanking along with being scolded in order to bring them to their senses and to help them cry.
There are some situations where scolding is not so important or necessary. When a woman is receiving a punishment spanking, scolding is absolutely vital for her. But during a Maintenance Discipline, scolding is less important. She has usually not done anything specifically wrong, so there is nothing specific for which she needs to be scolded. However, since a Maintenance Discipline is also designed to remind her of her obligations of respect, honesty, obedience and submission, it is highly appropriate to provide some gentle scolding or admonition to remind the woman of her responsibilities in these areas. This gentle reminder scolding will also help her to understand the reasons for her Maintenance Discipline so that she will not incorrectly imagine that she is being disciplined for no reason at all. Although it is true that she is not being disciplined for a particular offense, it is also true that she is being disciplined to remind her of her feminine responsibilities and obligations. It is fitting that she be verbally reminded of and alerted to these obligations during her Maintenance Discipline spanking.
A similar situation applies to a woman who is receiving a Preemptive Discipline or a Preventative Spanking, which is designed to prevent any feminine misbehavior immediately before a situation where she has historically misbehaved in the past. She is given a discipline to warn her not to misbehave in the next few hours or days, because she has a history of misbehaving in the same situation previously. When she is being given a Preemptive Discipline spanking, the woman should be scolded about her past misbehavior and sternly reminded that similar misbehavior will not be tolerated. This scolding does not have to be as harsh or as severe as the scolding she might receive as part of a fully-fledged punishment spanking, but it should leave her in no doubt as to the kind of behavior that is expected from her in the immediate future.
There are several reasons why scolding is necessary when disciplining a woman. Firstly, scolding is an integral part of an effective punishment. Without scolding, a woman’s discipline is only half-complete. Disciplining a woman without scolding her is like sowing a seed without watering it. A man who disciplines his wife without scolding her is essentially treating her like a machine that responds only to physical stimuli. If an automobile stops working properly, it only needs mechanical repairs, it does not need to be told why it stopped working. But a woman is not a machine. She needs human interaction with her HOH, not just physical contact with his hand, paddle or belt. She needs him to tell her off for her misbehavior. Scolding is an essential part of effective Domestic Discipline, not an optional aspect. Without scolding, the HOH is treating his woman as if she were a robot rather than a human being.
The principal reason that scolding is necessary is that is helps the woman to realize what she has done wrong. It helps her to realize why she is being punished. Of course, an HOH should never discipline his woman without telling her why she is being spanked. But if he scolds her during her discipline too, she will be much more aware of her misbehavior. Otherwise, she may lose herself in the pain of her spanking and temporarily forget why she is being disciplined, which is not a good outcome. She needs to be made aware of what she did wrong and why she is being disciplined. Scolding is the best way for her HOH to communicate this understanding to the woman.
Scolding is also necessary to tell the woman how the behave in the future. There is no point focusing only on the negative, ie, what she has done wrong. She also needs verbal guidance about what to do right – how to avoid a similar case of feminine misbehavior in the future; how to behave properly; how to avoid being spanked for the same offense again. This kind of scolding is the most productive kind of scolding because it leads directly to improved feminine behavior in the future. Scolding is not only about telling the woman what she has done that is bad. It is also about telling her what she must do to be good. It is about telling her what constitutes acceptable behavior. It is about telling her how to be a better person. The HOH has a number of different roles in a Domestic Discipline relationship. One of the most important is his responsibility to guide his woman. We all know that he is meant to correct her for misbehavior, which simply means to discipline her. But guiding her means that he must direct her towards more positive kinds of behavior and away from the kinds of negative behavior that get her spanked in the first place. Guiding her means emphasizing good behavior. The easiest way to do this is as a part of scolding.
Some people may also refer to this as lecturing. The only reason that lecturing is not identified as a separate issue here is that lecturing can sometimes get out of hand and become an ineffective substitute for spanking in some couples. Lecturing is fine as long as it occurs before or after the spanking, and as long as it doesn’t go on for so long that the woman tunes out and switches off to her HOH, which can sometimes happen. Scolding is a process that can occur contemporaneously with the spanking, which means that it can take place as the woman is actually being spanked. Lecturing, on the other hand, can usually only effectively take place either before or after the spanking, which can sometimes reduce its effectiveness. However, it is certainly true that many women benefit enormously from being lectured as a part of the disciplinary process. As long as the HOH doesn’t get too carried away with his lecturing, it should be fine.
Another important reason for scolding is to help encourage a woman’s tears of contrition. If you have read the “Tears” article, you will know that crying during (or before or after) a spanking is extremely helpful for the woman, for a number of different reasons which are discussed extensively in that article. Because scolding can help to reveal the truth about a woman’s misbehavior to her, and because she is being lovingly disciplined by her HOH, the combination of these two factors create the situation where she is more likely to be brought to tears. Scolding is a great facilitator of a woman’s tears during Domestic Discipline, and tears are one of the key objective measures of a successful discipline, because they indicate not only contrition, but also submission. They indicate contrition and repentance for her misbehavior. Tears also indicate submission to her HOH and submission to the truth about her own misbehavior.
Scolding important because it helps the woman to connect the pain of her punishment to the reason for her punishment. If the pain of the spanking makes her totally forget why she is being disciplined, the whole process will be far less effective than if she is able to continually connect her misbehavior with her spanking. Scolding helps a woman to be constantly reminded of the link between her misbehavior and her discipline. It helps her to understand the causal relationship between her feminine misbehavior and her punishment. It helps her to understand the justness of her discipline. It helps her to understand that her HOH is doing this for her own good. It helps her to understand that she is being disciplined purely for her own misbehavior, not for anything else. Scolding reminds her of the fairness of her spanking and it also empowers her to avoid being spanked again, because the scolding makes her understand that she is only being punished for her misbehavior, not for who she is. Scolding makes it absolutely clear to her that she is in control of her own misbehavior or behavior, not anyone else.
The most important reason for the use of scolding during a Domestic Discipline session is that scolding works synergistically with spanking. Synergy literally means “working together.” Scolding works together with spanking to produce an outcome that is more than the sum of its parts. Scolding dramatically enhances the effectiveness of spanking, just as spanking dramatically enhances the effectiveness of scolding. Some women can be brought to tears by spanking alone, while other women can be brought to tears by scolding alone. But the combination of the two makes it much more likely that any given woman can be brought to tears by this synergistic pairing of both scolding and spanking.
There are also a number of different reasons why scolding is so effective in Domestic Discipline. One of them is that women tend to be more verbal than men, whose skills tend more towards the spatial or visual. A verbal focus means that women respond more to words, whether spoken or written, than pictures or spatial relationships. Since women tend to have a more verbal focus, it makes a lot of sense to incorporate this focus into the disciplinary process. It makes a lot of sense to discipline a woman verbally as well as physically. A good spanking will get any woman’s attention, of course, but when that spanking is combined with a good scolding, the overall effectiveness of the woman’s discipline is dramatically increased.
Another reason why scolding is an effective tool for Domestic Discipline is because it usually taps easily and automatically into the woman’s natural sense of guilt over her misbehavior. Unless she is some kind of psychopath who has no conception of the difference between right and wrong, a woman will have some sense that her behavior was unacceptable in some way. This underlying awareness of her own guilt is what scolding should tap into. Scolding reaches a woman’s own sense of guilt about her misbehavior and brings this out into the light, showing her that she should have known better than to have behaved in such a way. A woman needs to suppress her own guilt in order to misbehave in the first place, because she should normally know the difference between good behavior and bad behavior. By suppressing her guilt, she allows herself to misbehave for her own selfish or prideful reasons. Scolding lifts the lid on her guilt and reminds her not only that what she did was wrong, but also that she should have known better. Not only was she dishonest, disrespectful or disobedient, but she knew what she was doing all along! Scolding can help her to realize this important fact and thereby contribute greatly to the effectiveness of her discipline.
How should a woman be scolded? This can be a tricky question for some men, particularly if they are less articulate than their women. But a silver tongue is not necessary for effective scolding, nor is a large vocabulary. In fact, some more articulate men have great difficulty scolding their wives initially, although with practice they can quickly improve. There is no magic recipe for scolding, nor a list of specific phrases that will instantly bring a disciplined woman to tears. This is because everyone is different, and because even the same woman can be disciplined for many distinct types of misbehavior. However, it is possible to explore a number of useful strategies for scolding that will help the disciplinary process enormously.
Some men who have never scolded their woman before may be concerned about unwanted levity spoiling the proceedings – trying to scold her but breaking into laughter because some funny aspect becomes apparent. This is more likely to be a problem during an erotic spanking or a play spanking than a punishment spanking. It is an even bigger problem in the world of BDSM where it is difficult to say, “Wench, thou hast pilfered some roast venison that was destined for the King’s table. As a result, you will be imprisoned in this dungeon and whipped brutally for seven days and seven nights,” without bursting into laughter at the absurdity of it all. But in a real-life Domestic Discipline situation where the woman really has done something that is both wrong and hurtful to herself or to others, neither the HOH nor his woman is in a laughing mood. Scolding will flow naturally and easily in such a situation, untroubled by jokes or laughter.
At the other end of the spectrum, scolding need not necessarily involve anger. Some women are disciplined by their HOH when he is in a state of anger at her misbehavior and this can be very effective for these women, helping to chasten them, to humble them and to bring them to tears more rapidly. Other couples prefer to keep anger completely out of the disciplinary process, because anger can develop into verbal abusiveness that has no relevance to Domestic Discipline. People in the latter category will want to ensure that scolding does not turn into verbal abuse because of inappropriate anger. The HOH should be able to scold the woman without losing self-control and giving way to outright anger. The same goes for any HOH who is spanking his woman and who needs to always have the self-discipline to ensure that he does not spank her excessively harshly.
There are several different types of scolding which are usually combined together as necessary. There is general scolding, where nothing specific is mentioned. A couple of examples of general scolding might be, “You are a very naughty girl” or “You are selfish and immature.” No reference is made to what the woman has done which is so naughty, in this kind of scolding. Specific scolding is scolding that addresses the specific offense committed by the woman, as in, “Your abusive and angry swearing is completely unacceptable behavior” or “Treating people so contemptuously is a terrible way to act.” Discipline scolding is scolding that relates to the disciplinary process, for example, “That hurts, doesn’t it? Well, it’s not over yet! You should have thought about that before you went ahead and behaved so selfishly” or “Don’t think you can fool me with those crocodile tears. Your spanking has only just begun.”
Some scolding is related to shame or guilt, as in, “You should be ashamed of yourself for behaving like that,” or “How could you do such a thing? You should know better than that!”. Scolding that is connected to contrition or repentance can be especially effective in bringing a woman to tears, or to encourage her to keep crying once her tears have started, for example, “I hope you’re sorry for what you’ve done,” or “How can you not be sorry for behaving so badly?” or “Now you’re sorry. At last you realize why you needed to be punished.” Other scolding can focus on the merited nature of the discipline, as in, “You know that you really deserve this punishment for your misbehavior” or “You are going to get every single swat that you deserve for such bad behavior, young lady, and no less.” Scolding can focus more on the educational, correctional or didactic elements of the woman’s discipline, such as, “I will teach you a lesson that you won’t forget in a hurry,” or “You had better learn your lesson not to speak to people in that way,” or even “Now you are learning what happens to someone who is as disobedient and disrespectful as you.”
These different examples of various types of scolding are by no means an exhaustive list. Scolding can encompass a wide range of admonitions that are variously designed to humble the woman, to inform her about her misbehavior and to warn her against further disobedience in future.
Scolding is often used to prick the balloon of a woman’s arrogance and pride. If she were less stubborn or difficult in the first place, she would have been less likely to have committed the misbehavior that resulted in her spanking. Along with the corporal punishment that she receives, the scolding will cut through any stubbornness or resistant attitudes that may have been the cause of her misbehavior in the first place. Again, it is an example of a pointed little arrow of truth that penetrates her shield of arrogance and angry or selfish pride, helping to humble her and to bring her to her senses. The best scolding is more of a delicate pin than a blunt instrument. It is effective because of its accuracy and because of its truthfulness, not because it wears her down.
Which brings us to the next element of scolding, which is that it needs to be true to be effective. There is no point accusing a woman of doing something that she didn’t do, because that is not the truth and will therefore have little or no beneficial effect on her during her spanking. The HOH needs to ensure that his scolding reflects the truth of his woman’s misbehavior if he wants it to be an effective part of her Domestic Discipline.
Scolding needs to be humbling without being humiliating or insulting. It needs to humble the woman and reveal to her the negative aspects of her own behavior. It should not humiliate or insult her. Telling her that she has fat thighs is not scolding her, it is insulting her and it is abusive. Insults do not help the disciplinary process at all. She is not being disciplined because of who she is as a person – she is being disciplined because of what she said or did. This does not rule out disciplining her for a bad attitude, of course, because a bad attitude is only a temporary state of affairs, not a permanent one, as well as being something that the woman is completely in control of. Scolding should make a woman feel bad about her behavior, not about herself. She is being punished for her misbehavior, not for who she is. Scolding that makes a woman feel about about her misbehavior is the only kind of scolding that she ever needs during a spanking, because it is the most effective and useful kind.
Scolding also needs to be relevant to the punishment in question, to the current discipline. There is no point scolding a woman for an offense that she committed last year and has already been disciplined for, unless that offense relates in some way to the current situation. There is enough to scold a woman for in relation to the present spanking, without having to bring in other irrelevant issues. In any case, once a woman has been spanked and forgiven for a specific case of misbehavior, that should be enough to lay it to rest.
If a woman is not willing to admit that her behavior was in any way unacceptable when her spanking starts, and if she wilfully retains her attitude of arrogance and stubbornness, sometimes a scolding will fall on deaf ears. In such a case, she will need to be firmly and thoroughly spanked to ground her and to bring her back to reality before the scolding can have any useful effect. If she is purposely deaf to the words of her HOH, she may need to be spanked hard first, then scolded afterwards. Sometimes a spanking is necessary to humble her sufficiently before she is scolded. If her HOH gives her Corner Time in the middle of her spanking, this may humble her yet further, so that when she returns to his lap for the second round of spanking she will be in a more receptive state to absorb his guidance via the corporal punishment and via the scolding.
As previously mentioned, eloquence is not important when it comes to scolding a woman. The HOH does not need to be a master of rhetoric in order to scold his woman effectively. Just the plain and simple truth of the matter is all that is needed to help teach her why she should not misbehave.
Sometimes a woman’s cries can drown out the words of her HOH’s scolding and make it difficult for him to make himself heard. This can result in him escalating his volume and having to shout to be heard, which is not always a good solution. Or alternatively, he may try to suppress her cries excessively by ordering her to keep totally silent during her spanking, which is equally unrealistic. He needs to strike a balance between allowing her to make reasonable noises of discomfort during her spanking and making sure that she can hear what he is saying when he scolds her. If she is a woman who cannot restrain herself from making a lot of noise when she is spanked, her HOH may need to restrict his scolding to times when she is not actually being swatted.
Once the scolding part of a woman’s discipline is completed and she has been brought to tears of contrition for a sufficient amount of time, she can then be forgiven by her HOH who can communicate this forgiveness to her in a number of different ways. Taking her in his arms and holding her close is the best way, because it communicates his forgiveness in simple, physical terms that cannot be misunderstood. He can also stroke her head and her hair to comfort her as she continues to cry out the last of her tears. And of course, he can speak gently and softly to her, explaining that she has been forgiven for her misbehavior. He might use phrases like, “Good girl,” to praise her for her obedience and her submission to her punishment. It is important to praise the woman for taking her punishment. She can also be praised for having had the courage to learn her lesson by submitting to her HOH’s discipline of her. He taught her a lesson but she was sufficiently smart and sufficiently loving to learn it. Domestic Discipline always teaches the woman a useful lesson, even if it is a Maintenance Discipline which is given for no particular misdemeanor or misbehavior. Even a Maintenance Discipline teaches the woman a useful lesson about submission to her HOH. Even an Unjust Discipline teaches a woman about obedience, though the discipline itself may not have been fully merited.
After her punishment is over, a woman should also be praised for allowing herself to cry, because that is a significant sign of both her submission and her obedience to her HOH. Many women have various emotional blocks that prevent them from crying, even after a really hard and lengthy spanking. The courage to face up to these blockages will be rewarded by the emotional catharsis and cleansing of a good cry during her discipline, which markedly increases the beneficial effects of a woman’s spanking. Tears are their own reward for the woman who is disciplined to tears, but it is also appropriate and loving for her HOH to praise her for crying. This will help her to feel less embarrassed about crying and showing her feminine weakness, so that the next time she is punished she can be brought to tears even more quickly and effectively than in her last spanking.
She should be praised for submitting to her HOH. No woman wants a punishment spanking, yet if she submits willing to her HOH when he decides that she needs to be disciplined, she deserves praise for her submission to him. She deserves praise for submitting to a humbling, painful and unpleasant process, even if that process is going to be highly beneficial for her in the long run. The HOH should praise his woman for her submission and for her obedience if she has been both submissive and obedient to her punishment. If she has been disobedient in any way, she should be warned and scolded rather than praised, of course.
Let us return to the subject of scolding and examine the different times when scolding can be used as an effective part of the Domestic Discipline process. The first opportunity for effective scolding occurs before the spanking has actually begun. As soon as the HOH has informed his woman that she is going to be disciplined for misbehavior, an opportunity for scolding exists. He can begin to scold her for her misbehavior right from the start, if he thinks it is appropriate for her discipline to do so. This special pre-spanking scolding will help to prepare the woman for her spanking because it will place her in a more submissive frame of mind prior to her actual punishment. Whatever the reason that she is being discipline for, the main thing to remember is that scolding will generally help her to submit to the spanking she is about to receive. Of course, not every woman is going to be so obedient or submissive at this stage, so the HOH should not be discouraged if his woman does not display instant submission after the scolding begins. The advent of her spanking will always help to change her mind, however.
During a woman’s spanking, scolding can be used to discipline her along with the actual swats that she receives on her bare bottom. There are a number of different ways of scolding a woman while she is being spanked. Firstly, her HOH may use a kind of continuous and arrhythmic scolding where he scolds her while he is spanking her, but not in time with his swats on her bottom. The rhythm of his spanking is separate from and completely unconnected to the rhythm of his scolding, which continues for the duration of the punishment. It doesn’t mean that he has to scold her without pausing for breath or for effect. Sometimes he may make an important point and then stop scolding while continuing to spank her, so that the weight of his words sinks into her. If he is breathless from spanking and scolding her simultaneously, he can stop scolding while continuing to spank, in order to catch his breath, after which he can resume the scolding. In general, this method of scolding is very flexible and highly effective, because the scolding mixes in with the spanking to combine synergistically, creating a profoundly beneficial impact on the disciplined woman. She is simultaneously spanked and scolded, which doubles the likelihood of bringing her to tears.
Some men like to scold their woman in a continuous, rhythmic fashion. This means that they time each word of their scolding to coincide with each swat that lands on the woman’s bottom. This creates a kind of staccato effect where each word or syllable is spoken at the same time that her bottom is smacked.
So he might say, “You – are – a – naugh – ty – and – dis – o – be – di – ent – girl – and – you – need – to – be – pun – ished – to – teach – you – a – les – son – that – you – won’t – for – get!” Each of these syllables is timed to coincide with a spank on the woman’s bare butt. Obviously the HOH needs to make sure that his voice is loud enough to be heard over the sound of his woman’s bottom being smacked – otherwise there is little point to the scolding.
Another kind of continuous and rhythmic scolding is where the HOH scolds his woman rhythmically but with each word or syllable timed so that it falls in between each smack. This obviates or gets around the problem of not being heard over the sound of the spanking, because each word does not coincide with a spank. A typical part of this kind of spanking might sound like,
“You [SPANK] have [SPANK] been [SPANK] warned [SPANK] several [SPANK] times [SPANK] about [SPANK] your [SPANK] attitude [SPANK] today, [SPANK] but [SPANK] you [SPANK] continued [SPANK] on [SPANK] as [SPANK] if [SPANK] I [SPANK] had [SPANK] said [SPANK] nothing. [SPANK] You [SPANK] will [SPANK] learn [SPANK] to [SPANK] be [SPANK] more [SPANK] obedient [SPANK] in [SPANK] future. [SPANK] You [SPANK] will [SPANK] learn [SPANK] to [SPANK] listen [SPANK] to [SPANK] your [SPANK] HOH. [SPANK] You [SPANK] will [SPANK] learn [SPANK] to [SPANK] treat [SPANK] people [SPANK] with [SPANK] the [SPANK] respect [SPANK] they [SPANK] deserve.”
And so on and so forth, until she is brought to tears of contrition and repentance. This method is another highly effective way of combining spanking with scolding to produce a discipline that teaches the woman exactly what she needs to learn. It produces a discipline that creates a strong sense of submission in the woman who is being spanked and scolded because she is unable to separate the scolding from the spanking in her mind, during this process.
Other men feel that their woman does not really get the full benefit of scolding while she is being spanked at the same time. These HOH’s prefer to scold the woman during pauses in the spanking, because they can be more certain that she is hearing (and hopefully, listening) to what her HOH is saying to her.
A typical example might go, “You should know better than to get a speeding ticket” [SPANK] [SPANK] [SPANK] [SPANK] [SPANK] [SPANK] [SPANK] [SPANK] [SPANK] [SPANK] “You are supposed to be a responsible adult.” [SPANK] [SPANK] [SPANK] [SPANK] [SPANK] [SPANK] [SPANK] [SPANK] [SPANK] [SPANK] “You could have killed or injured yourself by speeding.” [SPANK] [SPANK] [SPANK] [SPANK] [SPANK] [SPANK] [SPANK] [SPANK] [SPANK] [SPANK] “You could have killed or injured someone else.” [SPANK] [SPANK] [SPANK] [SPANK] [SPANK] [SPANK] [SPANK] [SPANK] [SPANK] [SPANK] “I love you too much to allow you to get away with that kind of misbehavior.” [SPANK] [SPANK] [SPANK] [SPANK] [SPANK] [SPANK] [SPANK] [SPANK] [SPANK] [SPANK] “You are going to be very sorry for what you did.” [SPANK] [SPANK] [SPANK] [SPANK] [SPANK] [SPANK] [SPANK] [SPANK] [SPANK] [SPANK] Etc etc.
This method of scolding in between spanking is effective because the HOH has the woman’s full attention when he is scolding her. Although her bottom is burning from the effects of the swats she has just received, the pain is not so great that she cannot concentrate on what he is saying to her. So she absorbs the messages that he is trying to communicate to her via the scolding. And each bout of spanking helps to reinforce the message of each scold.
Another way to scold a woman as part of her discipline is to spank her thoroughly and in silence. Then, after the first round of her spanking is complete, she can be scolded briefly before being put into the corner for some Corner Time. There, she can reflect not only on her wrongdoing that earnt her the spanking in the first place, but she can also absorb the scolding that she received just before being sent to the corner by her HOH. After her Corner Time, she can be scolded again before being put over the knee once more for her next session of spanking. So using this technique, she is scolded in between spanking and Corner Time sessions which can basically alternate until her HOH feels that she has learned her lesson properly. For some women, this approach can be more effective than the preceding examples.
The main benefit of this approach over the others is that it facilitates eye contact between the HOH and the disciplined woman. Some HOH’s feel that scolding is more effective when they can see their woman’s eyes as she is being scolded. On the other hand, other HOH’s may prefer that the woman keep her eyes downcast during her punishment as a mark of respect for her HOH and as a sign of her submission to her spanking. But for many women, having to maintain eye contact with her HOH while he scolds her can be very effective in bringing her to tears, since she can see the disappointment in her HOH’s eyes – his disappointment in her and in her misbehavior. When she realizes that she has not only let herself down but has also let her HOH down by her misbehavior, many women will be effectively brought to tears by this realization. When a woman realizes that she has disappointed and hurt the man that she loves by her bad behavior, this can often act as a powerful and effective trigger for her to start crying, because this can create a genuine sense of contrition and repentance in the disobedient woman.
Some HOH’s prefer to scold their woman only while she is standing in the corner during her Corner Time. This keeps the scolding completely separate from the spanking and can help her to focus more completely on what is being said to her by her HOH. The only noise that could interfere with the scolding might be some sobs or sniffles from the disciplined woman if she has already been successfully brought to tears before being put into the corner. Normally when a woman is scolded during her Corner Time, it is not possible for her HOH to maintain eye contact with her unless she is made to stand in the corner, facing out, rather than facing into the corner which is the standard method. If eye contact with the punished woman is not important for the disciplinary process, according to the HOH, then this can be a fine method of scolding her. Sometimes the fact that her spanked bottom is on display during her scolding can have a salutory and humbling effect on her, helping her to come to a more submissive and obedient attitude more quickly.
Sometimes a woman is scolded only after her entire spanking is over, including any Corner Time component of her discipline, if she receives Corner Time. In such a case, she may be scolded while still laying over her HOH’s lap. The main benefit of this position is that again her freshly spanked bottom is on display, which can help with humbling her if that is necessary. A second benefit is that her bottom is readily available for spanking if her HOH feels the need to punctuate or emphasize the scolding with a few extra swats, which can be highly beneficial for the woman’s overall discipline. He may decide to mark the official end of her punishment with a single firm swat to her bottom, to provide a simple and clear signal that her discipline is complete.
Some women are required to stand in front of their HOH after their spanking and be scolded in this standing position. Naturally, any woman in such a position should not be permitted to rub her bottom to reduce the pain of her spanking, because the disciplinary process is not yet complete and she does not yet have the right to rub her sore bottom. A simple way to ensure a spanked woman does not rub her bottom is to require her to clasp her hands together behind her head and remain like this until told otherwise by her HOH. Scolding a woman while she stands before her HOH ensures that her HOH has her full attention and can also, if desired, make eye contact with her in order to communicate his message better. A woman who is scolded in this standing position is also effectively humbled by the fact that she has to stand before her HOH like a naughty child, which increases the effectiveness of such a scolding dramatically.
Other HOH’s who demand a higher level of submission and obedience from their woman will scold her a little differently after she has been spanked. She might be ordered to kneel on the floor before her HOH to receive her scolding in this kneeling position. Kneeling is obviously a very humble and submissive position for the spanked woman and can help to teach her submission and obedience in addition to facilitate the scolding aspect of her discipline. Again, ordering her to clasp her hands behind her head will prevent her from being tempted to rub her sore bottom or to wipe her tears away if she is crying. Scolding a kneeling woman permits the HOH to maintain eye contact with her if he feels that is beneficial for her discipline.
To conclude, scolding is an important part of the Domestic Discipline process because it helps to expose the woman to the truth about her misbehavior or attitude, so that she can learn better behavior and better attitudes in future. Disciplining a woman without scolding her is equivalent to treating her like a machine. Scolding can play a significant role in helping to bring the disciplined woman to tears during or after her spanking, which contributes greatly to the cathartic and transformative effects of Domestic Discipline on a woman and on her behavior. There are many different ways to actually scold a woman, as outlined in the paragraphs above. Finally, when all is said and done and she has been spanked, scolded and brought to tears so that her punishment is both effective and complete, it is always important to remember that the flipside of scolding is the reconciliation and forgiveness phase of Domestic Discipline. In this phase, the HOH can comfort, forgive and praise his woman for submitting to the spanking that she deserved and needed to overcome her bad behavior or bad attitude. This praise helps to remind her that her submission benefits her greatly and helps to create the loving reconnection between the man and woman that is typical of Domestic Discipline.