What To Do If Your Husband Is Not Interested In Domestic Discipline?

This is another comment we received via Email. The sender was ok with publishing the answer.

My husband and I just celebrated our 30th anniversary. We are, however, very new to the DD lifestyle.  He realizes my need to submit to him as the head of our household, and he also admits that he finds spanking me very erotic. My husband doesn’t feel that I ever do anything that really deserves a spanking.  He has suggested that we spank just for erotic reasons and skip the DD part altogether.  I am confused about how I feel about this.  I  don’t think that is what I want but  am at a loss as to how to convey my feelings to him.  I feel like he is just not “getting it.”  I do not want to discourage him, he is really trying to explore this new aspect of our lives.

He works in another state most weeks, Monday through Friday and we still have one adult child currently living with us temporarily which makes things more difficult.  This situation will change in a couple of months with either me moving to be with him or him coming home to work permanently.

Should I let him lead in this and see where it goes or speak up now?



4 thoughts on “What To Do If Your Husband Is Not Interested In Domestic Discipline?

  1. As I said in other places when I got married 30 years ago my husband thought spanking a wife was not Christian, even though he is very conservative. He thinks women’s place is in the home, that homemaking is the only thing the Lord intended for women. That’s like my mom and dad believe. He doesn’t believe in Women pastors either, he told me that I must keep silent in Church and ask him any questions or get permission from him to ask the Pastor. any questions I have. We changed Churches three times until we found a Pastor he thought was truly preaching the word of the Lord. But he still thought spanking a wife was wrong. He didn’t know the Pastor we have now spanks his wife too, we found out in a marriage counseling our Church did, our Pastor doesn’t tell everyone about this, but he figured out I got spanked when I mess up, maybe because I went to church after a Sunday morning spanking and he could see how I had to sit down on the hard pew. I am guessing I don’t know This was at the time before my 9-clock bedtime and I was pretty bad when I first got up. I don’t get on very well with the Pastor’s wife, I have gotten spanked a few times because we argued, and my Husband said I was disrespectful. My husband made me apologize to our pastor when I got in trouble for this. Anyway, my Husband knew my dad spanked my mom, we talked about it before we were married, he told me he would never ever hit me, that’s what he said. He got on with my dad and mom, dad liked him a lot, he never bad mouthed my dad, but he just thought a man should not strike a woman. So, as I said elsewhere after we got married it was a funny thing for me to not have anyone who spanked me if I messed up. I don’t know why this made me act out a lot. That’s what my Husband called it, acting out. It took about a year before my husband listened to my dad and gave me my first spanking. It was a really hard spanking, I had marks for almost a week. But I wasn’t mad at my husband at all, I knew I deserved it, and crazy as this sounds my husband taking the strap to me made me feel like my husband really loved me. It’s not that I like spankings, I don’t at all, but I get even more scared then I get when my husband gets his strap to use on me when I don’t have a strong man who spanks me when I mess up. I call my husband Sir, even in front of other people we don’t know, my husband never asked me to do this. He even told me that I didn’t have to call him Sir, but I told him I have to, because it makes me feel good and I think it makes me feel safer. My mom calls my dad Sir, and I want to be as good an example for our whole family as she is. I don’t understand how any wife who reads her bible and believes in the Lord thinks she has the right to say to her husband that he can’t punish her the way he wants to if he thinks he needs to. I think some wives need a lot of spanking and some wives very few spankings, but I can’t imagine any wife who has been married for many years who never did something she needed to be given a spanking for. That seems impossible to me. If my mom still needs a spanking from dad sometimes even now, and was spanked by dad maybe every other month or so when we were growing up, there can’t be any wife who doesn’t deserve a spanking sometimes.


      • I think my dad helped a lot with my husband. When we were courting dad talked to him about how sometimes he might have to give me a spanking. When we were dating Ben would make jokes about, like out I’ll take you over my knee, but he was just being funny at the time. He was really shocked when Dad told him my Mom was spanked when she misbehaved. First, he told me he could imagine my Mom ever doing anything wrong and two he thought spanking a grown woman was just crazy. But this didn’t make him disrespect to my Dad. And he told me that my mom was the politest women he ever met, my mom thinks that all women should show respect to all men, out of respect for her husband. Of course, only dad had authority over her. When my brothers got to be older, Mom felt she shouldn’t ever raise her voice to them. Of course, she never had to, they adored mom and would never be disrespectful to her. And Dad wouldn’t tolerate it if they did. You didn’t disrespect mom not because you were afraid of her like we were of dad, but it would seem so wicked. Of course, we all felt bad when mom got punished she would carry on just like we did when dad gave us the strap, you couldn’t help it, but we felt especially bad if it was somehow our fault too, which it was sometimes. You could hear a pin drop in the house when Mom was doing her corner time it would seem too disrespectful to carry on like normal when she is standing in the corner. And after mom got punished you better not say to her that dad was wrong, she would get upset if you said this and if you argued with her, she would tell dad and then you got a strapping. It was the one thing mom wouldn’t allow, this could make her angry. It was dad who talked to Ben after we were married about spanking me. So Ben called my dad that first night I got spanked after I was married. I think. Ben thought dad was going to spank me and so I think he was surprised when dad handed him the strap. But it didn’t stop him from giving me a really bad spanking, he was angry. Dad was angry too, I could tell by how he put me in the corner after Ben was done. I can’t blame them, I was raised better than I was acting. I was acting out.


      • Great comment! Thanks for commenting … maybe I should compile them into a post?


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