Insufficient discipline: How not to live domestic discipline

Many women who manage to convince their husband to implement Domestic Discipline in their relationship can become frustrated and angry if they are not disciplined properly. They were expecting to feel positive emotions like love, respect and gratitude after a spanking, but instead they feel only half-spanked, grumpy and frustrated. When this occurs, the woman can begin to worry that the introduction of Domestic Discipline into her relationship has actually made things worse, not better. At least she wasn’t so pissed off at her husband before he became her HOH. Now she feels like she has lost all her respect for him, which worries her a lot. And on top of it all, he is supposed to be the “HOH”, the head of their household. But he doesn’t seem like an HOH. He seems more like a weak man whom she has a lot of difficulty respecting.


A woman’s respect for her HOH can be easily and quickly regained.

Even if she perceives his lack of vigor and firmness in disciplining her as a lack of love, she can regain her respect and ultimately, regain the ability to feel both his love for her and her love for him (the love was always there – she just couldn’t feel it properly). It is quite common for a woman to feel unloved (or not loved enough) when her HOH does not discipline her properly – when he does not spank her long enough or hard enough, when he does not succeed in bringing her to tears, or when he does not wrestle her submission and obedience from her and compel her to submit and obey him without question, when he has not humbled her to a point where she feels nothing but humility, meekness and love. In such a case, he has not succeeded in releasing her sweetest feminine energies, because he has held back from unleashing his most powerful and sometimes scary masculine energies. For a woman to feel super feminine – humbled, crying, contrite, shattered, submissive, yet feeling only love for the man who caused her such pain – she needs to be taken to her limits and beyond. A few polite taps on her backside won’t do it – she needs to be really *punished* properly, so that her pride, her arrogance, her more masculine attitudes, are ripped brutally away from her by the pain and shock of her spanking, just like clothes that are ripped from her body, leaving her naked, exposed and totally, undeniably, utterly, feminine. After all, what else can a woman be after she has been stripped naked and corporally punished to the point where she is sobbing and repentant? How can she be anything other than totally, one hundred percent feminine?

And one of the strongest feminine emotions and qualities is love.

Love rises like a phoenix from the ashes of a woman’s punishment, from her tears and from her humiliation. It is her natural feminine response to the brutally masculine (but effective) technique of wifespanking. Her HOH presents her with the truth about her misbehavior, because it is a good dose of the truth that she needs in order to change her ways for the better. Then he delivers the consequences (a harsh spanking) which should naturally follow as a result of her misbehavior or bad attitudes. The intensity and noise of the spanking that he inflicts on her is an expression of his masculine energy. Men are generally thrilled by the tumult of sports and war in ways that most women do not understand. So in order to bring out her feminine emotions and cleanse away her masculine errors such as pride and arrogance, he must unleash his own masculine energy on her via the pain and fury of a spanking. If he does not allow sufficiently free rein to his masculine energies, he will not be able to punish her properly. If a man does not punish a woman properly, her feminine energies will be only half-complete. She will feel the desire to experience love but without feeling the desire to give love. She will feel incomplete (because she is) and unable to release the sweet, feminine, yielding love that a dominated, crying, punished woman can give out so easily and naturally. She will feel frustrated because she has only been taken halfway to her feminine goal. She will feel unloved because she has not been taken to that point where love flows from her without effort, naturally and automatically.

Naturally, there are emotional and physical limits beyond which an HOH should not discipline his woman. But any woman who suffers from this lack of adequate discipline in her Domestic Discipline relationship will not be taken anywhere near her limits. She will not be taken within hundreds of miles of her limits. The least of her problems is worrying about her HOH overdoing things. Her biggest problem is not being taken far enough when she is disciplined by him.

Control is another masculine quality that should be expressed by a man during a discipline.

He expresses this control by physically controlling the woman – by holding her over his lap and by spanking her. But he also expresses this control by controlling the way he spanks her. If he is tempted to spank her harder than she really needs, he controls this impulse so that he does not hurt her unnecessarily. If he is tempted to get the spanking over and done with too quickly, or if he is tempted to be weak instead of strong when he disciplines her, then he must use his control to override these urges too. A man needs to use self-control not only to avoid spanking too hard, but also to avoid spanking too softly. If he has been spanking her for a minute or two, then starts to feel that it is causing her more pain than he is comfortable with (because he loves her and feels for her), he needs to exert his self control here. He needs to temporarily control his desire to end the discipline prematurely, because the results will be disastrous. He needs to control his urge to stop spanking her and instead, he needs to force himself to continue punishing her until SHE has had enough. He shouldn’t stop when HE has had enough, he should stop when SHE has had enough. And he is the person who is responsible for deciding when she has had enough, not her. It is the man’s self-control that helps him to discipline his woman properly. It is also his self-control that is one of the things that qualifies him to be the HOH, rather than her. His own self-control is one of the qualities that qualify him to spank her, rather than the other way around.


A man’s failure to provide adequate discipline is not the end of the world in a Domestic Discipline relationship. Men need to learn how to discipline a woman just the same as a woman needs to learn how to submit to her man’s discipline. A man needs to learn more about his own masculine energies which are so powerfully expressed during a discipline session, just as a woman needs to understand the flow of feminine energies within her during and after her punishment. Few people are able to harness these energies instinctively. Instead, they have to ask others. Which is why we have things like close friends, discussion groups, websites, blogs and emailing between people who are interested in improving their skills and understanding in the area of Domestic Discipline.

So if your husband is not disciplining you long enough or hard enough, you should not assume that all is lost.

You just need to understand that Domestic Discipline is a process of learning, and that he is learning how to discipline you properly. Just because he is not doing it perfectly right now does NOT mean that he will not gradually learn to do so. You need to be patient, and you need to be encouraging and appreciative of his efforts. You also need to practice submission to him in your daily life, so that he feels that his efforts are bearing some fruits. If you continue to misbehave in a consistently bratty or bitchy way, he is unlikely to be very impressed by the results of Domestic Discipline. So you should practice being loving and submissive to him at times OTHER than when he is spanking you. Although it may be difficult for you, it is what you must do if you want the rewards of this lifestyle.

Instead of criticizing him for not spanking you hard enough or long enough, you should try praising him for the spankings that he does give you, even if they are so mild that you feel frustrated and unloved because you have not been properly punished by him. Tell him how much you appreciate his loving guidance, how grateful you are for his firm correction of you, and how you feel so much love when you have been disciplined properly. Even if none of these things are true yet, it doesn’t matter. Say them anyway. Say them often enough and they will gradually become true, because he will start to feel appreciated for his efforts. He will start to feel as though he is getting a handle on the whole Domestic Discipline thing. He will feel as though he is starting to get the results that you need and want. And he will start to see that he is getting benefits that he did not expect either. And all of these things will become real if you allow them to.

If you nag him for not punishing you properly, he will feel like a failure at Domestic Discipline. When someone is made to feel like a failure at something, their desire to pursue that lifestyle quickly evaporates. You need to give him some successes, even if they are not entirely true or real. If you can build up his ego a little, he will feel better about himself and better about his role as HOH. You don’t make a man into an HOH by cutting him down – you do it by building him up. If you want him to be HOH, you need to help him by being more supportive, more encouraging and more submissive.

If things seem to be moving very slowly, you don’t need to worry that things will not eventually improve.

In fact, any loss of respect and love that you might be experiencing due to insufficient discipline can easily be erased in a single discipline session. If a man really unleashes his powerful masculine spanking energies to punish his woman properly, if he brings her to tears and makes her really contrite and repentant, he can change her attitude to him in a single session. Even if every discipline session up to then has been disappointingly weak, a single strong, firm discipline can restore the love and respect that every woman wants to feel in her heart. Some couples have been together for 30 years before coming to Domestic Discipline and the women often report that they see their husband through completely new eyes after receiving a single uncompromising spanking from him. As soon as he shows her who is boss, he can change the dynamic in their relationship in the space of a single spanking. Through the power of the spanking, he can replace her doubt and disappointment with love and respect. These are the kind of emotions that any woman wants to feel for her man. No woman really wants to hate and despise her man, at the bottom of her heart. She would much rather love and respect him. Domestic Discipline is a very effective method of achieving that result. Domestic Discipline is an effective way to bring a man and woman together in love and harmony.


7 thoughts on “Insufficient discipline: How not to live domestic discipline

  1. Great article! I know for my HOH, he was worried about really hurting me when we first got started. He’s gotten over that now, and has seen what a positive effect a good spanking can have on me and our relationship.


  2. The behavior described in your second paragraph is abusive. Any man who does that to his wife is not Christian and is not loving his wife the way Jesus does the Church:

    Ephesians 5:25 Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;
    26 That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word,
    27 That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish.
    28 So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself.
    29 For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church:
    30 For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones.

    1 Peter 3:7 Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered.

    Despite the fact that the Lord specifies the chastening of children, there is not one word in the Bible about corporal punishment of a wife. In fact, it is contrary to the words of Ephesians chapter 5, to the agape love that a man is supposed to display for his wife. Jesus would never be violent toward his Bride, the Church. The Greek word for “chasten” is paideuo which actually means to train children. Scriptures that deal with chastening through corporal punishment mention sons. Revelation 3:19 says I chasten those whom I love, but this is referring to us as Christ’s children and not as a Bride. Indeed, Deuteronomy 8:5 says:

    Thou shalt also consider in thine heart, that, as a man chasteneth his son, so the LORD thy God chasteneth thee.

    I pray that you will consider that any man who physically chastises his wife is sinning against his own flesh. What man whips his own flesh to bring it under subjection? I pray that God will open up the eyes of your understanding.

    Marriage should be a joyful thing, not a source of pain and fear. The Spirit of the Lord brings joy and peace.


  3. I never could understand why some wives would complain about not being punished enough. There has never been a time when my husband took the strap to me that I wished he would have spanked me more. It’s horrible to get a strapping, it’s not something I ever want more of. I know my husband has the right to punish me as he sees fit, I don’t question that, my pastor talked to me about my duty as a wife and my husband’s duty to lead his family in a Godly way. My husband is very strict but very fair too. I know when he punishes me that’s it’s for my own good, but that doesn’t mean I don’t wish for the very least punishment when my husband gets his strap out.


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