So there was another question in the mailbox, which was too good not to published. [The sender was ok with it.]
My husband and I want to practice DD. We go to a conservative church where traditional values are respected. We have no idea if any couple that we know uses spanking, but I have never heard it even suggested.
Alot of the “ideas” of DD make sense to us. There are times that I feel the need to “pay” for my actions, but we are not comfortable with the idea of spanking. Can we still do or use DD?
Of course you can use DD! One of the BIGGEST misconceptions of DD – due to I think a lot of negative publicity on the Internet – is that this is nothing but spanking porn in disguise!
It’s not. DD is a lifestyle where a wife voluntarily submits to her husband’s headship AND agrees to be “corrected” by him if he feels it’s appropriate (i.e, if she’s violated some marital boundary in some way.) Although MOST couples do use spanking as a traditional, direct, and very effective DD choice, some do not. I have heard of wives being simply scolded, having to write letters of apology for whatever it was they did wrong, required to do lines, write out Bible chapters, be grounded from computer or activities, submit to mouth-soaping, etc. in lieu of spanking.
There is no right or wrong way to practice DD. (Well, maybe there ARE some wrong ways, but that’s another topic. LOL!) Whatever you feel as a couple is “right.”
That having been said, I wonder a bit why you won’t consider spanking. From personal experience, I will tell you that being turned bare-bum over my husband’s knee, getting a pretty direct lecture, then a no-nonsense spanking with a paddle focuses and, yes, “corrects” me in a way that “writing lines” could never do. There’s NOTHING like a really sore tail to make you consider the error of your ways. I think fathers AND husbands have known this for generations and there’s a good reason for that.
That having been said, good luck to you! You can have a wonderful DD relationship ithat suits you. In the end, as long as you please the two of you and your God, don’t let anyone pressure you do to anything different.