Not all spankings are the same. If you are already living the Loving Domestic Discipline lifestyle, this may sound like an obvious statement. Of course each spanking is different. Aside from the differences between a punishment spanking and a Maintenance Discipline spanking, every disciplinary experience will vary. No two spankings will be the same, because no two things are exactly identical.
But there is more to the difference than that. Sometimes a woman needs to be given a spanking that has a more pronounced effect than the ones she usually receives. Sometimes she needs to be spanked in a way that does more than just correct her misbehavior. Sometimes a woman needs a spanking that is transformational.
A Transformational Discipline is a discipline that goes beyond a normal spanking and transforms the woman. It is a spanking that creates some kind of quantum leap in her behavior, her attitude and her understanding. It is a discipline that gives her a total emotional, spiritual and moral makeover. This is a Transformational Discipline.
In the world of Christian Domestic Discipline, some people refer to a Transformational Discipline as an “Avoid At All Costs” spanking – an AAC or an AAAC. This means basically the same thing as a Transformational Discipline in the Loving Domestic Discipline lifestyle. A spanking that a woman wants to avoid at all costs is a spanking that will be especially unpleasant for her.
A Transformational Discipline is intended to create genuine submission in the disciplined woman. This is not the kind of submission that involves the woman submitting only when it suits her to submit. This is the kind of submission that is lasting and genuine. A Transformational Discipline is also meant to teach her true obedience, not just temporary obedience that lasts for a short while until her next punishment spanking.
A Transformational Discipline is often very painful. This pain may consist primarily of physical pain. The spanking that a woman receives when she is given a Transformational Discipline may be harsher and more severe than a normal punishment spanking.
On the other hand, a Transformational Discipline may also be painful because of its emotional content – because of the emotional experiences that the woman has during her punishment. The physical spanking may not be any harsher than a normal punishment spanking, but the emotional effects of the discipline on the punished woman may be deeper and longer lasting than she is used to.
The need for a Transformational Discipline arises when a woman needs to be disciplined in a way that creates a significant change in her behavior and attitude, beyond what she normally experiences as a result of a regular punishment spanking. A Transformational Discipline becomes necessary when the HOH recognizes his woman’s need for a proper spanking that transforms her mind and heart. He is seeking to teach her to become more positive and healthy in her outlook and comportment than she currently is.
As has been discussed in a previous article, it is important to remember that a woman’s misbehavior may be due to more than one cause. That is why often a single spanking will not be enough to cure a particular problem that the woman has with her behavior or attitude. She may be disciplined one week for her misbehavior and then have to be punished again the following week for the same kind of disobedience, disrespect or dishonesty. It does not mean that she didn’t learn her lesson from the first spanking. It simply means that the first spanking dealt with one aspect of her negativity in feelings or thoughts, which uncovered another problem which lay beneath. It has been previously explained that dealing with a woman’s repeated negative behavior or attitude is often like peeling an onion – the cause of her problem may be multi-layered. This multi-causal nature of some examples of feminine misbehavior is why it is often necessary to spank a woman for the same misbehavior on more than a single occasion.
A Transformational Discipline is not necessarily designed to overcome this problem of the multi-layered causes of a woman’s misbehavior. It may work in this way, but it is not specifically intended to do so. An HOH must resist the temptation to accelerate his woman’s learning process too much by administering a Transformational Discipline out of sheer impatience. He will often get better results if he concentrates on peeling away the onion, one layer at a time and one spanking at a time. Giving her an almighty spanking that leaves her unable to sit down for two weeks is not always beneficial for the woman if it is delivered in haste and impatience.
But if an HOH makes a reasoned decision that he has given his woman sufficient time to modify her behavior and attitude so that they are more positive, yet still she has not made the changes that she should have, then he is fully justified in administering a Transformational Discipline to her. An HOH needs to be patient with his woman, but he does not have to wait forever. If she does not make an effort to modify her behavior and attitude to more positive ways, she can expect to receive a Transformational Discipline.
A Transformational Discipline will teach a woman the true meaning of her submission. She will learn not only to submit to her punishment, which she will do anyway because of the pain of her spanking, but also to submit to her HOH and to his authority over her. When a woman receives a Transformational Discipline, she will discover a deeper meaning of submission. She will feel that her submission is truly a part of her as a woman, rather than being a separate act which she performs from time to time. She will experience submission as in integral part of her femininity and her womanhood. In this way, she is fulfilling herself as a woman. She is discovering her true path to genuine personal growth, love and intimacy.
The woman in need of a Transformational Discipline will also usually have a strong need to be taught better obedience. The Transformational Discipline she receives will teach her obedience in a thorough and uncompromising way. She will learn to be obedient to her HOH more consistently, so that she has fewer problems of misbehavior in the future. She will learn obedience to her HOH and especially to the disciplinary process that he initiates for her benefit. This will teach her to obey her HOH when he is actually disciplining her. Her obedience during her discipline or punishment is extremely important. If she is disobedient while she is being disciplined, she is disrupting the fundamental basis of the Loving Domestic Discipline lifestyle. She should always be aware that her obedience is absolutely mandatory when her HOH is disciplining or punishing her.
The emotional and physical intensity of a Transformational Discipline will teach the woman in no uncertain terms that obedience is a non-negotiable requirement of her. She will not be tempted to flirt with disobedience again after she has had a proper Transformational Discipline that leaves her sobbing, repentant and contrite.
The emotional content of a punishment session comes from the feelings that the woman experiences before, during and after her punishment. By paying close attention to the effect of his words and actions on his woman while he disciplines her, the HOH can improve the emotional quality of her punishment. He can create a greater emotional impact and therefore a greater degree of shaming and humbling for his woman when he punishes her for her own good. The more the woman is made to experience the proper feelings of shame, guilt and humility for her misbehavior, the better her punishment will be and the better she will learn her lesson.
How should a woman be Transformationally Disciplined? What are the actual mechanics and techniques of administering a Transformational Discipline to the misbehaving woman?
A Transformational Discipline consists of two parts – the physical aspect and the emotional aspect. The physical part of a Transformational Discipline is quite simple and straightforward. Physically, a Transformational Discipline consists of a punishment that is harsher than a standard discipline or punishment spanking. There are a number of different ways to achieve the harsher punishment required for a Transformational Discipline.
The first way to achieve a more severe discipline is to spank the woman for longer than usual. Spanking her for longer than usual will automatically produce a harsher discipline that is more likely to have a transformational effect. A longer spanking will need to be substantially longer than a normal one if it is going to be effective. For example, if the woman is normally spanked for ten minutes, it will not be sufficient to spank her for 11 minutes if a Transformational Discipline is desired. A ten percent increase in the duration of her spanking will simply not be enough. A Transformational Discipline needs to be significantly longer than a normal discipline if it is going to work as intended. A reasonable rule of thumb is to at least double the duration of a normal spanking to convert it into a Transformational Discipline. So if a woman’s regular spanking took around ten minutes, she would need to be spanked for about 20 minutes for a Transformational Discipline. That would achieve substantial and lasting change to her attitude and behavior.
One of the problems that an HOH may encounter when attempting to administer a Transformational Discipline is that he will want to spank his woman in such a way as to avoid causing bruising to her bottom. It is vitally important that any Transformational Discipline begin with a gradual warm up spanking. The woman’s bottom needs to be warmed up so that it will be able to withstand the much longer duration of a Transformational Discipline without bruising or excessive skin damage. The HOH can begin by spanking her lightly at the start to achieve the desired warming up effect.
Women often complain that their spankings do not last long enough for them to be brought to tears properly and to feel genuine contrition for their misbehavior. One of the reasons their spankings don’t last long enough is because they are not sufficiently warmed up at the start of their punishments. By starting off the spanking slowly and lightly, a much longer duration can be achieved. This will be much more likely to bring the woman to tears, producing a more beneficial result for her as a woman.
These tears may take longer to start flowing, but once they have begun, they will last much longer because the woman will have been taken to a much deeper state of repentance and submission. Tears that last longer are better for the woman because she experiences a deeper and more cleansing emotional catharsis. She also experiences a much deeper sense of contrition for her misbehavior. This contrition is essential for a successful Transformational Discipline.
A longer, lighter spanking that does not overwhelm the woman with pain will also enable her to feel ashamed of herself, her behavior and her situation. A longer, lighter spanking will be much more shaming and humbling than a short, sharp punishment that is over before the woman has even had a chance to be brought to tears properly.
Another approach to administering a Transformational Discipline is to divide the spanking into two or more parts. This is usually referred to as a Multiple Discipline. By disciplining the woman two or more times in the same session for the same offense, a more severe punishment can be achieved. This will create a highly beneficial Transformational Discipline for the woman.
If a Multiple Discipline is used, it is also important to remember to begin each phase of her punishment with a warm up spanking, so that her bottom can cope with the punishment it is going to receive. The woman’s bottom will have been warmed up quite a lot by her first spanking, so her second discipline will not need such a longer warm up. Each woman will vary in her bottom’s ability to retain its softness and suppleness that a good warm up spanking creates, so her HOH will need to err on the side of more warming up rather than less.
Administering a harder spanking is the third main way to achieve a Transformational Discipline when it becomes necessary for the woman. A harder spanking will usually depend on the force with which the woman’s bottom is struck. Naturally enough, harder swats equal a harder spanking. Once more, it is extremely important to begin a harder spanking with a lengthy warm up that prepares the woman’s bottom for the more severe punishment that will occur later.
The woman’s HOH must balance the need to administer a harder spanking with the need to ensure that her bottom is not excessively bruised. He should always monitor the state of her bottom so that he will be able to stop the spanking if it seems that her bottom cannot take any more punishment.
A harder spanking may be achieved by striking the woman’s bottom harder for each swat. That is the simplest way of achieving a harder spanking. But the HOH may also achieve a harder spanking by changing to a more painful implement. For example, if he starts out spanking his woman with his hand, he can increase the severity of her spanking by changing to a belt, paddle or Loopy Johnny for the second part of her punishment. These implements will usually be more painful than the HOH’s hand when used correctly.
The other aspect of a Transformational Discipline that differs from a normal punishment spanking is the emotional aspect. By paying careful attention to his woman’s emotions, the HOH can administer a Transformational Discipline without using a great deal of extra effort or time. When the emotional content of a woman’s punishment is masterfully handled, an ordinary punishment can be turned into a Transformational Discipline for very little additional effort.
A woman must be properly shamed and humbled when she is given a Transformational Discipline. If she is not adequately shamed and humbled, her punishment will not amount to a full Transformational Discipline. She will not have been brought to the appropriate state of humility that is necessary for her to substantially change her thinking, her attitude and her behavior.
One way to achieve a greater level of humility when administering a Transformational Discipline is to ask the woman questions. Her HOH should question her about her misbehavior, her reasons for her misbehavior, how she felt when she was misbehaving and how she feels now that she is being punished for that misbehavior. He should not accept single word answers or grunts from his woman. It is important that she be obliged to explain herself fully. She must be made to explain why she misbehaved. She must be asked why she thinks that her misbehavior is not acceptable. She must be asked why she thinks her HOH has decided to punish her for her misbehavior. She must be asked why she deserves a Transformational Discipline, not just a normal punishment spanking. She must be asked why her HOH is going to administer this punishment to her.
By answering these questions, she will learn that her misbehavior was wrong. She will learn that her misbehavior was harmful – to herself and/or to others. She will learn that her misbehavior is fully deserving of a severe punishment, so that she can be taught a lesson. She will learn that she is being spanked to tears and beyond for her own good. She will learn that her HOH would rather not be spanking her, because there are many other things he could be doing with his time that would be more pleasant for him. She will learn that she has put herself and her HOH in this position by her own misbehavior and that the only way out of this situation is to carry the Transformational Discipline through to its natural conclusion.
It is important that the woman be taught that she has set this train of events in motion through her own actions. It is always tempting for a woman to pretend to herself that she is the innocent victim of her HOH’s unfairness, or of circumstances beyond her control, or of a random set of misfortunes. By doing so, she can excuse almost any sort of feminine misbehavior that she is guilty of. To get around her propensity for avoiding personal responsibility for her misbehavior, her HOH must always question her thoroughly.
This process of questioning will help to teach the woman that she is responsible for her own behavior. When she misbehaves, she is responsible for the punishment that will automatically and naturally follow. She will learn that such punishment is intended to teach her a lesson for her own good. She will discover that the worse her misbehavior is, the more severe her punishment will be. She will learn that her punishment is always fully deserved when she misbehaves.
Not only should the woman be asked questions prior to her Transformational Discipline, but she should also be scolded by her HOH. He needs to sternly remind her of the foolishness of her behavior. He can scold her about her lack of respect, obedience and honesty. He can remind her of the importance of submission because she is a woman who is naturally subject to her HOH’s authority. He can explain to her that he is punishing her for her own good – not because he wants to, but because she needs to be punished for her misbehavior. Without proper corrective punishment, her misbehavior will continue in the future and will probably even worsen.
The questions and the scolding that her HOH administers to his woman before or during her Transformational Discipline should be calculated to actively humble and shame her. Anything that he can say to her that will arouse her sense of shame for her misbehavior will be highly beneficial for her as a woman. She needs to be made aware of her own guilt and the necessity of punishment to correct her misbehavior. Only through the cleansing, transformative effect of a Transformational Discipline can her guilt be assuaged, her arrogance erased and her misbehavior corrected. She needs the transformational benefits of a severe punishment to return her to a more loving and submissive state, a state that is natural and healthy for a woman who wants to live her life in a positive, loving way.
Other emotional aspects are useful and beneficial when the HOH needs to administer a Transformational Discipline to his misbehaving woman. Anything that helps to further humble and shame the punished woman will assist in creating a truly Transformational Discipline. Nudity is one of the techniques that will always improve the quality of a woman’s punishment. By ensuring that she is totally nude, rather than partially nude, her HOH can increase the emotional impact of her punishment. If she is always spanked in a state of total nudity, she can be positioned in such a way that her bottom, the area between her bottom cheeks and the area between her legs are more exposed than normal. This will help to embarrass, shame and humble her, which will facilitate a Transformational Discipline. Increasing the emotional impact of a woman’s punishment will always be beneficial in administering a Transformational Discipline when it becomes necessary for the woman’s own good.
Giving her more Corner Time than usual will be helpful in a Transformational Discipline, although it will not normally be enough to create a Transformational Discipline on its own. It must be remembered that all emotional techniques that are used to facilitate a Transformational Discipline are not sufficient to create the necessarily transformation on their own. They must always be combined with a suitably increased severity of the woman’s physical punishment. A Transformational Discipline requires that the woman be given both a more intense emotional and a more intense physical experience of punishment, not just an emotional one. Her punishment must be well considered and well planned to be truly effective and beneficial for her as a woman.
When should a woman be given a Transformational Discipline? Whenever her HOH decides it is necessary, of course. As a general principle, however, a Transformational Discipline will not be required very frequently. Regular Maintenance Discipline spankings and occasional punishment spankings will be more than enough to deal with a woman’s misbehavior and to encourage her submission and obedience to her HOH. She will not need a Transformational Discipline every week. If she does, it is usually a sign that she is not receiving enough maintenance spankings, rather than a sign that she needs frequent Transformational Disciplines.
A woman should be given a Transformational Discipline whenever she has committed a major offense that requires a more comprehensive and effective discipline than she would usually receive. She should be given a Transformational Discipline whenever her HOH wants to teach her a major lesson about her behavior and/or her attitude. She should be given a Transformational Discipline whenever she needs to be taught to overcome a persistent problem of behavior or attitude for which she has been previously disciplined. While the HOH should generally be patient with his woman and her personal progress, if she seems to be having a repeated problem with a certain aspect of her behavior and attitude, something needs to be done. If she has been warned about this problem repeatedly in the past, something should be done. If she has been disciplined for the same kind of misbehavior frequently, steps need to be taken to correct the situation. This is when a Transformational Discipline is both desirable and beneficial for the woman.
It must also be noted that a Transformational Discipline is not intended for use by absolute beginners in the Loving Domestic Discipline lifestyle. If a couple has just started living the Loving Domestic Discipline lifestyle, the HOH should not attempt a Transformational Discipline in the first few weeks of this lifestyle. He should become familiar with his woman’s capacity for discipline and his own ability to punish her without causing serious damage to her bottom. When he has mastered the use of his hand, belt or paddle for disciplining his woman and when he has delivered enough spankings to know how to discipline her properly and safely, then he can consider administering a Transformational Discipline if he feels it is necessary.
Often a spanking delivered early on in a couple’s Loving Domestic Discipline lifestyle will feel like a Transformational Discipline to the woman because it will break through her inner resistance to submission. It may in fact be merely the first time she has been brought to tears, which is not to dismiss the importance and significance of such an experience. The first time a woman is brought to tears will often feel like a completely transformational experience, because in fact it is. But such an experience is not necessarily the same thing as a Transformational Discipline which is administered later, when the HOH has learned how to discipline his woman properly, effectively and thoroughly.
It is necessary for a woman to receive an Introductory Discipline and then to be put onto a regular Maintenance Discipline schedule for some time before she or her HOH will be ready for a Transformational Discipline. But when that time comes, it will help her to discover a total new experience of submission, obedience, femininity and love.