LDD Appropriate Behavior
How to behave during your discipline
This is a massive post (8500 words). Take your time and use the anchors to jump to the respective points:
There are plenty of articles on the Loving Domestic Discipline blog which explain how to discipline a misbehaving woman properly. Although many people have interpreted them as having been written specifically for the male Head of Household (HOH), that is not necessarily the case. They were written for the benefit of anyone who is interested in Loving Domestic Discipline. This is not to promote the idea of a female HOH, which is definitely not part of the Loving Domestic Discipline lifestyle. Nonetheless, the fact remains that the majority of the articles describe the actions that the HOH should take when his woman needs to be disciplined for her misbehavior. With only one or two exceptions, there are currently very few articles which outline what the woman should do.
Here we will examine what constitutes appropriate behavior for the woman when she is disciplined. Obviously, the reason that the woman is going to be disciplined in most cases is because she has been guilty of some kind of misbehavior. The only exceptions to this principle are other types of discipline such as Maintenance Discipline or Preemptive Discipline, where the spanking is designed to communicate a warning message rather than a punitive one. In the majority of situations, however, the woman is punished by her HOH because of her misbehavior. Usually her misbehavior occurs outside of a disciplinary scenario. The woman has committed one or more of the three D’s: disobedience, disrespect or dishonesty. As a consequence, her HOH has determined that she needs to be disciplined for her misbehavior, so that she learns to behave better in future.
In some cases, her misbehavior occurs during the discipline itself. She has resisted her HOH in his attempts to discipline her for her own good. This resistance may take the form of verbal or physical interference with her HOH’s unpleasant but totally necessary duty – to discipline her for her original misbehavior. When she resists her HOH in his efforts to discipline her, she is guilty of a second and worse type of disobedience, because she is actively trying to prevent her HOH from helping her. She is disobedient during her actual discipline. That kind of disobedience merits a separate and additional kind of discipline known as a Disobedience Discipline. That is discussed in more detail in the article of the same name. Basically, Disobedience Discipline is administered to the woman who misbehaves while she is being disciplined for her initial offense. It is designed to discourage her from being disobedient during her discipline.
A Disobedience Discipline is given after the woman has already been disobedient during her punishment. That is a necessary measure for those women who have difficulty obeying their HOH while he is spanking her. But there are a large number of unnecessary Disobedience Discipline spankings received by many women. They are unnecessary because they are entirely avoidable. This article will examine how the woman should behave during her discipline, so that she can be more obedient to her HOH at this difficult time. And let us not forget that a punishment spanking is most certainly a difficult time. Naturally, it is difficult for the woman because she is usually being spanked to tears – not exactly a fun experience, even if it is extremely beneficial for her. And it is also difficult for the man, because he is obliged to humble and punish the woman he loves. He would usually prefer to be doing something less unpleasant, but he does it out of his sense of duty and responsibility as the HOH in his relationship. It falls to him to take charge and discipline his woman when she misbehaves.
So how should a woman behave during her discipline? What kind of attitudes, words and actions are appropriate for a woman while she is being punished by her HOH for misbehavior?
Submission is the first and most important principle that any woman should observe when her HOH informs her that she is going to receive a punishment spanking. Submission is the most important aspect of Loving Domestic Discipline from the woman’s point of view, because it is the most significant and positive contribution that she can make to her own personal development that is achieved via the Loving Domestic Discipline process. The personal development that she gains from Loving Domestic Discipline is painful, profound and protected.
The spanking itself is very painful – any woman who has received a genuine punishment spanking will attest to that. The spanking is meant to be painful. That is the primary source of its effectiveness. If it were less painful, it would be less effective. When a spanking is carried out in the safe and sensible ways outlined in the article, “How To Spank A Woman,” substantial amounts of pain can safely be applied to the woman’s bare bottom over a period of time. A spanking without pain would have little value as a disciplinary tool. The pain that she experiences is not only physical in nature. A spanking has a shaming and humbling effect that can inflict an equally effective and beneficial emotional pain on the disciplined woman.
A woman’s personal development achieved via Loving Domestic Discipline is also profound. The emotional intensity of a disciplinary session can break through deeply ingrained, negative habits that have affected the woman’s life and her relationship with others, including her HOH. The profound change that a punishment spanking can achieve is truly intense, deep and wonderful.
A woman is protected when she is disciplined because she is under the direct care of the man who loves her most – her husband. He is best qualified to discipline her because not only does he know her best, he also loves her best. His intimate knowledge of her personality, her moods and her body help him to administer a discipline that gives her exactly what she needs to grow as a woman and as a person. Although he is inflicting physical pain on her, he is doing it in a careful, loving and protective manner. Thus, she experiences his protection when he disciplines her. After her punishment, she will usually feel very safe and secure emotionally, because she knows that her HOH has the physical and moral strength to discipline her when she deserves it.
Submission is the essence of Loving Domestic Discipline. The woman’s feminine submission allows the Loving Domestic Discipline process to begin in the first place. Then, through a powerful and meaningful ritual of loving but firmly administered discipline, her submission, femininity and love are profoundly enhanced and increased. So, paradoxically, the woman’s submission both facilitates Loving Domestic Discipline and is itself facilitated by Loving Domestic Discipline. The net result is a greater sense of loving connection with her man and a greater sense of personal responsibility and growth for herself.
Submission is the answer to the question of how a woman should behave during her discipline. The key to her best possible behavior lies within the simple act of feminine submission and surrender. Submission is the origin of her femininity and it is the means by which she can gain a deeper experience of her own femininity, at the hands of her loving HOH who administers the discipline she deserves and needs for her own good. If she desires to know herself better, to grow in love and understanding and to develop a deeper and more intimate relationship with her HOH, she needs to remember that submission is the key. Submission is the secret that lies at the heart of her femininity and it is also the gift that Loving Domestic Discipline bestows upon her.
It is all very well to be told that submission is of paramount importance for the woman who is living a Loving Domestic Discipline lifestyle, but what does this actually mean? How should she actually behave when she is being disciplined by her HOH? The philosophy of submission sounds great, but what does this mean in practice?
Submission manifests itself in many different ways in the loving woman. The first time that a woman’s submission is challenged is when her HOH informs her that she is going to be punished for her misbehavior. Until that point in time, submission sounds like a great idea and a great practice. She is quite happy to speak sweetly to her HOH and to others. She is quite content to defer to her husband’s judgement on various minor matters. She is quite prepared to do a little more cooking and cleaning than she did previously. And all the while, she is congratulating herself on how submissive, how loving and how feminine she is, thanks to all the fantastic information she has read about Loving Domestic Discipline.
This all collapses in a heap the moment that her HOH informs her that she is going to be disciplined for her misbehavior. Faster than the speed of light, all her self-congratulatory thoughts of submission fly out of her head, to be replaced by rebellious and hateful thoughts. These thoughts are exclusively directed at her HOH, who had the temerity to interrupt her pleasant daydreams of submission, which were in fact as illusory as a mirage. Most women who are living or have lived the Loving Domestic Discipline lifestyle will recognize themselves to varying extents in the above description.
The first instinct of many women who are told that their misbehavior has earned them a punishment spanking is to rebel. Submission is often the last thing on her mind, even though she previously spend a great deal of time congratulating herself about just how submissive she was. For some women, submission is like a pretty dress that they don for a day, then discard when they are tired of it. Submission is not a dress – it is a path to love, femininity and self-discovery for a woman. Submission cannot be discarded. Submission is not an object. It is a state of being. As a woman, either you are living it or you are not. It is that simple.
Many women believe that they are not responsible for their words or actions during their punishment. They think that the amount of pain, shame and humiliation that they experience means that they will not be able to control their own behavior. They imagine that this means that they will not and should not be responsible for their own behavior. Nothing could be further from the truth.
Every woman who is disciplined by her HOH is responsible for her own behavior during discipline. Just because her situation is unusual, unpleasant and intense does not excuse her from responsibility for her own behavior. She is not drunk or under the influence of psychotropic drugs. She should be disciplined in a conscious, normal and sober state. Therefore she should be prepared to take complete responsibility for her words and actions. She does not turn into a zombie as soon as she is put over her HOH’s knee and spanked to tears. She remains a conscious, intelligent and adult woman who should take responsibility for everything she says and does. Pretending that she cannot control herself during punishment is both childish and dishonest. Most HOH’s know their woman too well to accept this as an excuse, fortunately.
So a woman should begin her approach to appropriate behavior during discipline by simply taking responsibility for what she says and does during her punishment. From the moment when her HOH tells her that she will be punished to the time when her HOH cuddles and comforts her, telling her that her punishment is over and that she is forgiven. She is responsible for all of her behavior because she is a conscious, adult woman.
The first aspect of appropriate behavior for a woman during Loving Domestic Discipline is obedience. A woman should obey her HOH immediately in a disciplinary context. When she is told that she is going to be punished, her first thoughts and her first actions should be of obedience, not of defiance, disrespect or hatred. Although she may find it difficult to be as submissive and obedient as she would like to be, at least she can practice that submission by adopting more obedient attitudes and behavior. When her HOH tells her that she is going to be disciplined for misbehavior, she should obey him. After all, he is doing it for her own good. How does she think he will feel if she disobeys him every time he tries to help her out? He will start to feel that perhaps he is doing the wrong thing after all and that maybe he should stop this practice. Which will leave her feeling like he does not care and/or is not man enough to discipline her when she needs it. As you can see, feminine disobedience during discipline is extremely counterproductive, not to mention plain foolish.
It is also crucial that a woman does NOT try to argue her way out of a punishment. This may be a natural response to the fear that she feels about receiving a painful and humbling punishment spanking. Just because it is natural, however, does not justify it. Shooting someone when you are angry with them may be a natural response, but it is also immoral and illegal. If a woman attempts to argue her way out of the spanking that she knows she deserves, she is doing herself a great disservice. She is putting all her efforts into avoiding the learning experience that she needs. She knows that she needs this learning experience, yet she is trying purposely to avoid it. That is foolish and immature behavior. If she simply accepted the punishment she deserves, she would benefit greatly from it. She would come out of it a better, more loving and more wise person.
In addition to preventing herself from receiving what she really needs and deserves as a woman, she is behaving in an extremely disrespectful and disobedient way to her HOH. She certainly cannot call herself “submissive” if she attempts to weasel out of every punishment spanking that comes her way for misbehavior. If she were being more submissive and more obedient, she would immediately accept the fact that she has earned herself a discipline because of her bad behavior. She would submit to her HOH immediately, rather than pretending to herself and to him that there is some reason why she should not be spanked to tears. A woman who is truly loving, submissive and smart will obey her HOH when he informs her that she is going to be disciplined.
A woman should obey her HOH during all other phases of her punishment too. She should obey him during her spanking and after it. Obedience before, during and after her discipline will help her to avoid receiving a Disobedience Discipline for misconduct and disobedience during the disciplinary process. If she is obedient to her HOH, there is no reason why she should ever need to receive a Disobedience Discipline.
Some women regard the disciplinary process as an opportunity to mouth off. They see it as a chance to air any and every gripe they may have. They reason that since they are getting spanked, the least they can expect in return is someone to listen to every single thought, issue and problem that has been plaguing them recently.
Other women go further. They believe that spanking is some kind of assault on their body. In return for this perceived and unwanted assault, they see it as entirely fair that they should be able to conduct a verbal assault on their HOH. This kind of woman figures that since her HOH is “assaulting” her physically, it is only fair that she should be allowed to assault him verbally. According to her rather bizarre logic, her HOH “owes” her something in return for the discipline that she herself earned through her own misbehavior. She feels that he ought to listen to her verbal abuse in exchange for her spanking.
Both of these attitudes are obviously quite erroneous and misguided. The woman who is receiving discipline for her misbehavior does not have a right to sound off or to abuse her HOH verbally. The time for discussion or even argument is not during her punishment session. Discipline time is for discipline alone, not for negotiation or mouthing off at her HOH for various reasons. If she wants to live the Loving Domestic Discipline lifestyle, she needs to respect not only her HOH, but the time that he sets aside to punish her for misbehavior. She needs to respect both her HOH and the punishment process that he has instigated for her benefit. She should not attempt to use this special time to air other issues. It is dedicated to teaching her the lesson she needs to learn, via the application of firmly administered Loving Domestic Discipline.
The woman who really understands what Loving Domestic Discipline is all about will realize that, during punishment time, she should not speak unless spoken to. Her HOH does not need to know that the spanking is hurting her. He already knows that because that is how the spanking is supposed to work. He does not need to know that she does not agree with her punishment. The decision to discipline her is his decision, not hers. He has decided to teach her a lesson for her own good. Whether she agrees or disagrees with him is immaterial at this point. She should be concentrating on showing sufficient submission and obedience to accept her punishment without questioning it or her HOH. After all, he is doing it for her own good.
This principle should be used in combination with a good dose of common sense. If the woman is in some kind of serious physical difficulty – e.g. she is having trouble breathing or she feels sick – then of course she should quickly communicate this to her HOH. Submission does not preclude a common sense approach to the disciplinary process. But she should ensure that her problem is real and not just a spurious excuse to pause or terminate her justly administered spanking.
Some women feel entirely justified in swearing during their punishment spanking. The pain and the humiliation of their spanking provides sufficient justification, at least to them, for using bad language. The most obvious target of this bad language is her HOH. Some women think it is perfectly acceptable to swear at their HOH while he is administering their punishment. Then they are surprised when he informs them that a Disobedience Discipline will be the direct result of the woman’s bad language. Such women should not be surprised.
Other women try to swear at others while they are being disciplined. They are too clever to swear directly at their HOH. Instead, they swear at other people whom they believe somehow contributed, directly or indirectly, to their current predicament. That is the height of dishonesty and disrespect. Again, any woman who behaves in such a way during her discipline should not be surprised to receive a Disobedience Discipline as a result.
Yet other women feel that it is OK to swear at the pain of each swat they receive during their spanking. They justify this to themselves because they are not swearing directly at their HOH, which would be disrespectful. Rather, they are swearing at the pain of their spanking. This is a dishonest attitude. No woman should allow herself or be allowed by her HOH to swear during her punishment. Any swearing for any reason should immediately attract an additional Disobedience Discipline to discourage the woman from such misbehavior. Swearing at the pain of a spanking is an underhanded way of swearing at her HOH. It is a crafty yet unpleasant form of feminine disobedience.
A punishment spanking is painful. No one would question that statement, because it is true. If a punishment spanking were not painful, it would not have the desired effect. But some women use the pain of their spanking to justify yelling and screaming at the top of their voices. They have learned not to question their HOH’s sanity in disciplining them. They have learned not to swear at him when he is punishing his woman. But they have not learned that yelling and screaming excessively is also a strong form of disrespect.
No one would suggest that a woman should remain totally silent while she is receiving a spanking that is designed to teach her a lesson and bring her to tears. Even if she were totally silent, she will eventually end up crying and sobbing, which is very hard to do in silence. It is not that her HOH wants her to remain completely silent. It is that he does not want her to scream at the top of her lungs. She should not use her voice as an instrument of feminine rebellion and disrespect during her punishment spanking. Just because she is not abusing her HOH or swearing at him does not allow her to yell and scream as if she were going to die. She is not going to die from a spanking. She is just going to experience a lot of pain directed at a part of her body that can safely withstand a very firm spanking indeed. She is just going to feel substantially humbled by her experience. All of this will serve to teach her a useful lesson and to bring her much closer to her HOH. It is no cause for screaming hysterically. It would be appropriate for an HOH to give his woman a Disobedience Discipline if he felt that her hysterical screaming during her punishment spanking was both excessive and disobedient.
In addition to being a form of disobedience, screaming hysterically during a spanking also has other problems. Firstly, it increases the likelihood that the couple’s children, if they have any, will hear their mother receiving her punishment spanking. This should not happen. The woman should be punished without her children hearing any aspect of her punishment. It is not appropriate for them to experience any part of their mother’s punishment, because it is she who deserves to be punished, not the children.
It is always good for the HOH to inform his woman who is screaming loudly during her discipline that she is behaving not only disobediently towards her HOH, but also behaving irresponsibly towards her children. Her punishment is her own problem, not theirs. She should not involve her own children in her punishment by yelling so loudly that they hear. They did not misbehave – she did. She is the one who deserves to be punished, not them. Therefore she should restrain herself sufficiently so that her cries do not alert and alarm her children.
Another reason for the woman to moderate her screaming is that she increases the risk that the neighbors will hear her. While most neighbors will not intrude, it only takes one who suspects spousal abuse to make a report to the police or other authorities. If the police investigate further and are not understanding about the couple’s Loving Domestic Discipline lifestyle, the woman risks losing her husband and perhaps even her children, in a worst case scenario. So it is vitally important that she learns to moderate her cries while she is being punished for misbehavior.
One of the worst things that a woman can do during her discipline is to try to block or avoid the swats that her HOH is trying to deliver to her bottom. He may be using his hand, a belt, a paddle or some other implement – it does not matter. Regardless of the implement that the HOH is using to spank his woman, she should never attempt to block or avoid his swats. Such misbehavior is the height of disobedience and disrespect. It is one of the most common causes of a woman receiving a further Disobedience Discipline for her misbehavior during her punishment.
Blocking or avoiding swats is dangerous for both the woman and her HOH. If she uses her hand to block his swats, she runs the risk of potentially serious injury to her own hand or fingers. If she uses her legs or feet to block his swats, she risks the health and safety of her legs, feet and toes. Moreover, she also risks the safety of her HOH, especially if he is using his hand to spank her. This risk taking behavior is simply not acceptable for any woman who is being disciplined by her HOH. It is dangerous, it is disobedient and it is disrespectful. She should expect nothing less than a severe Disobedience Discipline as a result.
Trying to avoid a swat by moving to the side may seem like less risky behavior to some women. However, if her HOH is using an implement like a paddle to discipline his woman, she runs the risk that instead of being struck by the flat of the paddle on her bottom cheeks, she will instead be struck by its edge on her hip. This is dangerous because her hip is not protected by the same amount of padding that her bottom is. Again, she should not be surprised to receive a Disobedience Discipline for this kind of misbehavior.
A woman should develop her ability to submit to a punishment spanking. She should develop her submission. As she explores her own submission to deeper levels, she will find it easier to accept the swats that her HOH applies to her bottom, because she accepts her punishment as an act of love and teaching by her HOH. She performs an act of submission by accepting her spanking without attempting to block or avoid the strokes of the hand, belt or paddle. She knows that submission will give her a deeper experience of her own femininity, as well as helping her to learn her lesson better and bringing her into a much closer emotional connection with her HOH.
Many women have difficulty in not reaching around behind themselves to block their HOH’s hand, paddle or belt when he is disciplining her. There are a number of ways of dealing with this kind of misbehavior during discipline. The first method is obviously to punish her by using a Disobedience Discipline. As outlined in the Disobedience Discipline article, a Disobedience Discipline is designed to discourage a woman’s misbehavior during discipline. It consists of either additional swats delivered as part of her main discipline, or a separate punishment delivered at a later time (and sometimes, date). Disobedience Discipline helps the woman to learn that obedience is always required from her when she is being disciplined by her HOH.
The second method of reducing blocking is to give the woman a proper warmup during her spanking. This means not applying the hand, belt or paddle at full force right from the start. Instead, the woman is spanked relatively lightly at the beginning, giving her time to adjust to the pain in her bottom. Later, as her bottom warms up with each succeeding swat, the force can be slowly and gradually increased. This gradual warmup has a number of distinct benefits. It enables her to be spanked for much longer. It enables her to receive a much harder spanking. It dramatically increases the likelihood that she will be brought to tears. It reduces the risk of bruising. And very importantly, it reduces her temptation to block the swats as they land on her bare bottom. Because the increase in force is gradual, she is able to control her instinctive desire to block each swat and she is more easily able to obey her HOH and submit to her spanking. Part of the purpose of her discipline is to teach her obedience and submission. A proper warmup will enable the HOH to teach his woman the lessons she needs to learn – more easily and more effectively. He will be able to teach her honesty, respect, obedience and submission more easily than if he spanks her without a warmup. She will be led more gradually, gently and effectively to the point where she is crying and sobbing genuine tears of contrition and repentance. In this way, she will gain maximum benefit from her discipline.
Another method of facilitating a longer and harder punishment is to give the woman Corner Time in the middle of her spanking. Her total discipline is then divided up into two or more sessions of spanking, punctuated by spells of Corner Time. These sessions in the corner give the woman time to recover from each bout of spanking and to prepare herself for the next one. The recovery and preparation time that Corner Time allows can be helpful in ensuring a higher level of feminine obedience and submission during the woman’s spanking. This can lead directly to a reduced incidence of blocking misbehavior by the spanked woman.
One of the best additional methods of reducing a woman’s habit of blocking the swats during her spanking is Maintenance Discipline. Maintenance Discipline has many benefits for the woman. Two of the most important benefits are that it teaches her submission and obedience. Maintenance Discipline acts as a regular reminder of her responsibility to obey her HOH and to submit to her discipline. The positive effects of Maintenance Discipline are not to be measured overnight. They accumulate over a long period of time, as the woman learns to better obey and submit. As she deepens her knowledge and experience of submission, she finds it easier to accept her punishment, regardless of its severity, without blocking her HOH’s swats when he spanks her. The slow but steady benefits of Maintenance Discipline are one of the reasons why it must be applied regularly. Sporadic Maintenance Discipline is not as useful or beneficial as regular Maintenance Discipline.
Another form of feminine misbehavior during a woman’s spanking involves clenching her bottom. A woman who truly wishes to learn from her discipline and who truly wishes to submit to her HOH will know that clenching her bottom tightly will somewhat reduce the pain of her spanking. It won’t reduce the pain a lot, but it will reduce it a little. Most women will do anything to reduce the pain of their spanking. Any woman who tries to reduce the pain of her own spanking is behaving in an understandable manner. It is understandable that she should want to reduce the pain of her spanking. Just because it is understandable does not mean it is acceptable, however. It is understandable that some people get so angry and frustrated that they kill other people. It is not acceptable, however, to act in that way. A woman should not clench her buttocks while she is being spanked by her HOH, because that is not appropriate behavior. It does not show appropriate submission to her HOH nor to her punishment. A woman who genuinely seeks to obey her HOH and submit to her punishment will not attempt to clench her buttocks during her spanking. A wise HOH will not permit his woman to misbehave by clenching her bottom.
What the woman should really be doing is listening to her HOH while he disciplines her. Instead of talking, questioning or abusing her HOH, she should be listening to him during her discipline. Often, her HOH will be lecturing or scolding his woman about her misbehavior. She cannot absorb this information intellectually or emotionally if all she wants to do is tell her HOH what she thinks of him and his discipline. The loving HOH scolds his woman for her own benefit, not for his. She should be listening to him attentively if she wants to gain the full benefit from her discipline. The HOH’s scolding and the lecturing of his woman is part of her learning process. It is really the most important part of her discipline, in many ways, because she is learning what she has done wrong and how she should behave in future. The spanking is just there to help her remember her lesson and to discourage her from misbehaving in the same way again. If she thinks that the spanking is all there is to a disciplinary session, she is sadly mistaken. She is deluding herself and imagining that the spanking removes any need for her to pay attention to her HOH when he tells her what she has done wrong and why she should not behave in such a way. The woman should always listen attentively to her HOH during her discipline.
Furthermore, the HOH may have specific instructions that his woman needs to obey during her discipline. He may tell her to change positions, or to answer certain questions, or to make certain positive affirmations such as, “I will not tell lies in future.” If she is not listening to him, she will miss hearing these instructions, questions or admonitions. If she is not listening to him, she runs the serious risk that she will end up receiving a Disobedience Discipline for not paying attention to her HOH during her punishment.
Tuning out on purpose is also disobedient. Some women try to hide mentally and emotionally from the reality of their spanking. By tuning out or zoning out, they hope to numb themselves to the pain and the shame of their punishment. That is highly dishonest and immature behavior. The woman who really wants to learn her lesson and who really believes and trusts in her HOH to do what is best for her will understand that she needs to be mentally present during her own punishment. Drifting off in her mind is not a sensible, mature attitude to a punishment spanking. The smart woman will have the courage to remain present at all times during her spanking.
A woman should respect her HOH. In particular, she should respect him when he is disciplining her. The disciplinary process is the heart of the Loving Domestic Discipline lifestyle. If she cannot respect him then, how can she respect him at other times? She must respect her HOH during her punishment because otherwise she won’t respect him when she is not being punished.
She owes him respect as a fellow human being. She also owes him additional respect as her HOH. He is the leader of their marriage and of their family. He has taken on the onerous responsibility of disciplining her when she needs it for her own good. She owes him respect for this alone. She owes him respect because he is disciplining her for her benefit, not for his. He is trying to help her to become a better woman, wife and person by punishing her for her misbehavior. He is teaching her a lesson that she needs to learn. He is her leader, her lover and her teacher. She should respect this at all times, but especially when he is disciplining her.
Respect means more than just not swearing at someone. It means talking to them with respect. It means looking at them with respect. It means moving respectfully. It is no good if a woman speaks respectfully to her HOH but gives him a dirty look, or moves into the spanking position in a sullen, disobedient and disrespectful way. Respect does not mean that she should live in abject fear of him, or that she should behave in a servile, slavish manner towards him. It simply means that she should give him the respect he is due as her HOH. Respect means that she should treat him with consideration. It means that her behavior should reflect the esteem that she has for her HOH. If her behavior implies contempt or resentment, she is not behaving respectfully towards her HOH.
A woman who is being disciplined by her HOH should not allow herself to fall into despair at her failure to behave well. She should not suddenly feel that she is a total failure, or that her HOH is being cruel and unreasonable to discipline her. Instead, she should maintain a positive attitude towards herself, her HOH and her punishment. She is not a total failure – she has simply made a mistake that has resulted in her needing to be disciplined for it. Just because she is guilty of misbehavior does not mean that she is guilty of total failure as a human being. Most women do not believe this, but a small proportion do and they need to be reminded to take a more positive attitude about themselves, especially during discipline.
She should also maintain a positive attitude towards her HOH. Even if she believes that she is being disciplined unfairly, she should not interpret this to mean that her HOH is a failure at leadership. Perhaps she will later learn that her punishment was entirely justified, or perhaps she will accept that her HOH has the right to discipline her, or perhaps she will understand that even an unfair discipline will still have many benefits for her as a woman (see the article on “Unjust Discipline” for more information). But despairing of her HOH will never help her or her relationship. She should always maintain a positive attitude towards her HOH – in particular, when he is punishing her for her misbehavior.
She should maintain a positive attitude towards her discipline. It is being carried out for her own benefit. Yes, it is painful and it is humbling. But her punishment is designed to teach her an important lesson. Instead of fighting the process, she should surrender to it in the positive belief that it will ultimately do her a lot of good. Women who approach their discipline in this way often get a lot more out of their spanking than those who feel like it is terribly unfair and brutally cruel. One sign of a woman’s ability to surrender to her punishment is her willingness to surrender to her own tears. As discussed elsewhere, tears are an important indicator of whether the woman has truly learned her lesson as a result of her spanking, or whether she resists her learning experience, which has been given to her with love and with care by her HOH. When a woman surrenders to her tears and allows them to flow during her punishment spanking, she is demonstrating her positive belief in her HOH and in the positive power of Loving Domestic Discipline to correct, educate and redeem her. A punishment spanking is a deeply healing and transformative experience for a woman. To get maximum benefit from it, she should surrender herself to this experience and maintain a positive attitude during it. The rewards for her will be very great, as most women who live the Loving Domestic Discipline lifestyle already know.
It is important that a woman behave in an honest way when she is disciplined by her HOH. She should always be honest with herself and with her HOH. If she feels that her attitude is still negative, she should tell her HOH. Sometimes a woman will realize that her punishment is not yet complete because she does not yet feel completely sorry for her misbehavior. It is her responsibility to herself and to her HOH to inform him of this fact. If a woman has not yet reached a state of contrition for her misbehavior and can feel some residual resentment inside herself, she is in desperate need of further spanking. She should not remain silent and allow her discipline to end when she knows that she has not yet been properly punished for her misbehavior and bad attitude. Her spanking should continue or be restarted until she is fully contrite. She should be spanked until she is both submissive and obedient – both outwardly and inwardly.
As her HOH gets to know her moods and responses better, he will more easily discern whether she has been spanked enough or not. But it is also incumbent upon her to honestly tell him if she feels that she is not as contrite, submissive or obedient in her heart as she knows she should be after a punishment spanking. It will be up to her HOH to determine whether she will receive more spanking and if so, how much. He may decide that she will receive more Corner Time or some other Non-Spanking Discipline instead. She must not debate his decision unduly. He is her HOH and he is the one who decides when, where and how she is to be punished for her misbehavior. She must submit to his decision, whatever it is.
The best method of determining whether a woman has had sufficient discipline is to listen to the sound of her sobbing as she is spanked. If she is crying tears of contrition, she is more likely to have learned the lesson she needed to be taught. Often a woman must be spanked for some time while she is crying, because her initial tears will be tears of pain and shame, rather than tears of contrition. As her spanking continues, her tears will change from tears of self-pity to tears that indicate she is genuinely sorry for her misbehavior. If she is not spanked for long enough after her tears have started to flow, she will never get to the point where she is crying tears of contrition.
It is not always possible for an HOH to determine if his woman is crying tears of pain or tears of contrition. Often it is, but sometimes it is not. It is the woman’s responsibility to honestly confess to her HOH that she has not yet been brought to a state of genuine repentance where she is crying tears of real contrition, even if this will result in her being put back over the knee for further spanking. She will not do herself any favors by pretending that she is sorry when in fact she still harbors resentment and negative attitudes. If you read the article on Insufficient Discipline, you will know that it is very important to discipline a woman fully. She will not gain the cathartic release and powerful learning experience if she is not punished fully to the point where she is crying tears of contrition. The easiest way for her to ensure that she gets the most out of her discipline is for her to honestly confess and admit to her HOH that she is not yet fully contrite and repentant for her misbehavior.
As discussed in the article called, “Thanking,” a woman should always take care to thank her HOH for disciplining her. Since he has gone to such trouble to discipline her for her own good, even though he would rather be doing something more pleasant, she should express her gratitude for his efforts on her behalf. The principle that, “No thanking means more spanking” is an important one. A woman’s inability to genuinely thank her HOH for her spanking is a sign that she has not been punished sufficiently and that she continues to hold on to her negative attitudes. If she fails to thank her HOH after she has been spanked, she should be returned to his lap for further spanking, until such time that she is able to realize what he has done for her and express her gratitude accordingly. A woman who is unable to express her gratitude after her discipline has not yet received the full benefits of her spanking. She needs to have the resentment and negativity spanked out of her so that she can rediscover her own inner sweetness. Only then will she be able to express her gratitude for her HOH’s strenuous moral and physical endeavors, which he has undertaken for her benefit. She should thank him for his loving leadership.
When a woman is disciplined by her HOH for misbehavior, she should not assume that her punishment spanking is sufficient to absolve her of any bad behavior, including bad behavior that she may exhibit during her actual correction. Good behavior for her should not start after her spanking is completed. It should start as soon as she is informed by her HOH that he is going to discipline her for misbehavior. She should approach her punishment with the genuine intention and desire to conduct herself in a loving, submissive and obedient fashion. In this way, she will gain far greater benefits from her spanking than if she behaves with petulance, resentment and rebellion.
A woman is foolish and naive if she misbehaves during her discipline because she will only attract a Disobedience Discipline. This will be an additional, painful reminder that she should behave properly when she is being punished. A Disobedience Discipline is such an easy thing for her to avoid. All she needs to do is to obey and respect her HOH while he is doing the job that he has promised to do – to hold his woman accountable for her misbehavior and to punish her for her own good whenever it becomes necessary. For taking on a job like that, he does deserve her obedience and respect.
Appropriate behavior for a woman who is being punished by her HOH is to act with respect, love, submission and obedience. None of these are difficult, unnatural or negative forms of behavior for a woman. They are all positive, life enhancing and naturally feminine ways of behaving. So no unusual behavior is expected from a woman who is being disciplined by her HOH.
A woman undergoing discipline for misbehavior should always behave in an appropriate fashion because it will help her to gain maximum benefits from her spanking. She will benefit as a person, as a woman, and as a wife. Although she may have been silly enough to get herself into trouble in the first place with her misbehavior, she should be sensible enough to realize that further misbehavior during her discipline is just plain stupid. Being punished for her misbehavior is bad enough, but being punished for additional misbehavior during her spanking in the form of a Disobedience Discipline is unnecessary and stupid. She can avoid this unnecessary extra punishment by ensuring that she behaves appropriately when her HOH informs her that he is going to discipline her for misbehavior.