How should a woman thank her HOH for disciplining her?
Well – in words, basically. She simply needs to say thank you to him. That is an easy concept but an important one. And if it is forgotten, it changes the whole Loving Domestic Discipline dynamic into a harsher and less productive process. It doesn’t matter where she is when she thanks him. It might be while the woman is still in an OTK (over the knee) position. She might be sitting on his lap instead. She might be standing contritely before him. She might be standing in the corner of the room, facing inwards, during her assigned Corner Time. She might even be in a kneeling position, in the corner or in front of her HOH. It doesn’t really matter. What matters is that she should express her gratitude to him, in words.
If a woman who has been disciplined does not or cannot thank her man for giving her the spanking that she needs to correct her behavior, this is not a good sign. For most couples, the rule should be, “No thanking means more spanking.” When she is unable to thank her HOH for disciplining her, she needs to be spanked more. If the spanking had worked as intended, she would be able to thank him. An inability to be grateful for a punishment spanking is usually due to the woman having a lack of contrition or genuine repentance for her behavior. When there is a lack of contrition, there is a lack of gratitude and a lack of true respect. Those who have read the article on crying called “Tears” will know that a lack of contrition usually means that the spanking process is incomplete – the spanking has been too short or too light to really break through the tough, selfish shell that often causes feminine misbehavior in the first place.
When a woman thanks a man for having spanked her, it is important that he ensure that her expression of gratitude is genuine. If, based on her previous behavior during a discipline, the man suspects that his woman is not sincere about her thanks, he is obliged to take action. He should listen closely for signs of insincerity in her voice when she thanks him for her spanking. Insincere thanks should behavior punished harshly, because it is a form of lying. Lying is unacceptable behavior at any time, but especially so during a disciplinary situation. During a spanking, insincerity (or lying) should receive a Disobedience Discipline, which is the subject of another article on this site.
Insincerity means that the woman has not yet learnt her lesson and that she is treating her discipline with some contempt. It also means that she is treating her HOH with disrespect, otherwise she would be more truthful with him and admit to him that she does not feel grateful for her spanking. Of course, this would probably result in her discipline being continued until the HOH was sure that it had been effective. That is the kind of honesty required from a woman in a Loving Domestic Discipline relationship and that is the kind of determination and self-discipline required from the man. He has to be mentally and emotionally strong enough to discipline her until he is sure that her thanks are genuine. It is similar to the kind of loving toughness that he needs to bring her to tears during a spanking.
There is only one thing worse than insincerity when a woman thanks her HOH for disciplining her, and that is sarcasm. Most women are not so foolish as to thank their husband sarcastically for their spanking, but some women unfortunately are. It usually occurs when a spanking has not been sufficiently long or hard enough. If the woman still has an ‘attitude’ after being disciplined, she probably wasn’t spanked enough. Loving Domestic Discipline is supposed to cure a woman of an attitude problem. If the problem remains afterwards, then more discipline is needed until her attitude problem is solved. Sarcasm is another example of disrespect or disobedience during a discipline that normally merits a Disobedience Discipline, in order to firmly discourage further disrespect for her HOH and the disciplinary process.
Another important aspect of ensuring that the woman is genuinely grateful for her spanking is to require her to look her HOH in the eyes when she thanks him. If she looks down at her feet and mutters, “Thanks,” in a low tone, she is probably not really thankful. But if she has to look him in the eye and say, “Thank you,” it will be fairly obvious to him whether she is genuinely grateful or not. The HOH can also check whether she is truly repentant for her misbehavior when he looks into her eyes. His main indicator is whether she cries tears of contrition, but his backup check is to look deeply into her eyes and to listen to her voice as she thanks him for her spanking.
When should a woman thank her man for her spanking? The most common time is immediately after the spanking is over. If she is crying too hard when it finishes, it may be necessary to wait until her sobs subside a little before she is capable of coherently thanking him. If a woman thanks her HOH while she is standing in the corner of the room during her Corner Time, she will usually be facing towards the corner, making it impossible to check whether her thanks are sincere or not. So Corner Time is not such a great time for a woman to express her gratitude to her man.
It is also very good for the woman to thank her HOH later that day or evening, or even a few days later. If she is really getting benefit from being disciplined, she needs to communicate that to him, rather than expect him to read her mind. Thanking is especially important for Maintenance Disciplines, because they are given to maintain the loving and respectful behavior and attitude of the woman, which makes it even more important that she express her gratitude for them.
Some men expect their woman to thank them during a spanking. The classic example is where the woman is required to thank her HOH after each swat. This can work well for some women but for others it can be problematic. It can have overtones of too much BDSM, which is where style is emphasized over substance. BDSM looks like discipline, whereas Loving Domestic Discipline really IS discipline. Which is why Loving Domestic Discipline appeals to a much wider range of women than BDSM. Another problem with thanking after each swat is that it can sometimes be difficult to enforce, especially if the woman is sobbing too hard or if she simply finds it difficult to speak during a spanking. For some women, giving thanks after each swat can prevent them from crying, because they are so busy giving the required thanks. For other women, thanking after each swat can actually help them to start crying, so for these women it can be a positive thing. If the HOH is unsure whether it would be a good thing, he can always try it once or twice and later on, get feedback from her about how she felt it helped or hindered the disciplinary process.
Thanking after each swat can also slow down a spanking, especially if she is finding it difficult to say ‘thank you’ through her sobs or yelps. It can easily double the amount of time needed to discipline her properly, which can be a consideration for some couples who are pressed for time.
The final objection that some people have to thanking after each swat is that it is compulsory, so it is not really genuine. Genuine thanks are given from the heart, not because they are required. A well-spanked woman should be able to give thanks from her heart, because it is love that gives her HOH the strength and the will to spank her. If she has to thank him whether she feels like it or not, the process becomes disconnected from her heart. Most smart men realize that disconnecting a woman from her heart is not a good idea, either for herself or for him.
Those who remain fervent advocates of compulsory thanking after each smack can point to the fact that if you say something often enough, it quickly becomes real. So even if the woman is thanking her HOH for each swat without really meaning it, if she keeps up the thanking for long enough, eventually she WILL mean it. So it can work well, in spite of any initial insincerity.
Ultimately, it is up to each couple and each HOH to work out whether thanking after each spank is a good idea or not. They can work this out through a combination of communication (ie, talking) and experimentation – giving it a try and evaluating it afterwards. But the main principle – that the woman should express her gratitude for being disciplined – remains unchanged. If she is getting real benefits from Loving Domestic Discipline, the least she can do is to be grateful for it. Expressing her gratitude will also bring her closer to her man, which, at the end of the day, is what Loving Domestic Discipline is all about. Thanking helps the love and connection between the couple. She doesn’t have to thank him after each swat, but she should seriously consider taking the time to express her thanks after she has been disciplined.