Can a Domestic Discipline Relationship be loving?

Many Christians believe that a wife is supposed to submit to her husband.

If you talk to most evangelicals they will tell you that the husband has authority over his wife and household.

But if you say that a man has the right to spank his wife if needed to maintain that authority in the home, very often you’ve got a fight on your hands.

A man is supposed to love his wife as himself! How could he discipline her if he loves her? That is degrading to his wife! The arguments are seemingly endless.

However, up until the middle of last century, it was generally thought that a man did have the right of enforcement in his home. Could it perhaps be our culture rather than anything to do with the scripture that causes such an outcry against CDD? I think so.

Of course a man IS supposed to love his wife as himself, but that does not rule out discipline. In fact, the Bible has only good things to say about discipline.

Discipline is associated with love:

As many as I love I rebuke and chasten…Revelation 3:19

He that spareth his rod hateth his son, but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes…Proverbs 13:24

It is associated with wisdom and understanding:

The rod and reproof give wisdom… Proverbs 29:15

…but a rod is for the back of him that is void of understanding… Proverbs 10:13

And it is associatd with peace and righteousness:

Now no chastening for the present seemeth to be joyous, but grievous; nevertheless afterward it yieldeth the peaceable fruit of righteousness unto them which are exercised thereby… Hebrew 12:11

Since there is no scripture whatsoever that speaks poorly of discipline, and seeing what good things the Bible tells us come from discipline begs the question:

How can a man say he loves his wife and not discipline her when needed?


2 thoughts on “Can a Domestic Discipline Relationship be loving?

  1. Jane’s Husband Here

    The family and God’s ordained form a family should take in central to Christianity. God is very clear what roles he expects a Husband to to take. If Humans were perfect a believing wife would show perfect submission and perfect obedience to her husband automatically. But humans are not perfect. We try as hard as we can and we ask for God’s grace but we still fall short. I doubt if there a wife anywhere who doesn’t need to feel her husband’s strap , paddle, whip or whatever on her behind from time to time to keep her consistency within’s God’s rules about her proper place in the family. God counsels us not to spare the rod, and a good Husband , however, reluctantly, knows when his wife must be punished. My own wife is seldom ever given a punishment spanking these days as she has grown in her submission and obedience. just as her mother who was her role model seldom needed to be spanked as my wife grew into a young lady. This was not true early in our marriage or my parents in laws marriage when the family strap was well used and always at hand. In most cases I suspect, young wives need a spanking fairly often. This is true, I think, even if the wife was raised in a Strict Christian home where getting a spanking from her father was not an unknown occurrence. A young husband and a young wife have a lot to learn in their first few years of marriage,Therefore, it’s helpful to have a good mentor , and we were fortunate that my wife’s parents were there for us during the difficult early years. So is CDD Christian? Of course it is. I would argue that a wife who has never been spanked by her husband is a wife who is not really obedient and submissive as God requires her to be. She may claim she is obedient and submissive but I doubt she truly is.


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