The true meaning of Submission… and what it means to you

Why did God give women brains if they’re not supposed to use them…?

I don’t want to be a doormat…

Poor Leah. Her husband is a monster…

It seems everywhere I turn lately somebody has the wrong idea of what being a submissive wife means. It seems the definition has been completely turned on its head and few seem to understand what it really entails. So for starters, let me tell you what being a submissive wife is NOT.

A submissive wife is not a silent, timid little wraith who fears to open her mouth to voice an opinion. She is not a doormat, and she is certainly not abused.

Wives who have chosen to obey God’s command to be submissive in their marriages come in all shapes, sizes, and personality types. Many of them are in positions of authority in their jobs, they are leaders in appropriate areas of their churches and communities, and they are strong, independent mothers. They are educated and intelligent, they voice their opinions, and they are competent helpmeets to their husbands. They have simply made the choice to submit to their husbands’ leading in their homes and marriages.

According to, the definition of submission is: an act of submitting to the authority or control of another.

It’s as simple as that. A submissive wife chooses to abide by the final decisions of her husband and to obey what he tells her to do. Most submissive wives actively participate in the decision-making process of the home, and most husbands with submissive wives actively seek out their wives’ opinions, especially on important matters. Furthermore, many submissive wives testify that their opinion holds much more sway over their husbands’ decisions that it ever did before she was willing to submit to his authority. Something about having a submissive wife causes a husband to want to please his wife, whereas a stubborn or disobedient woman only makes him more determined to have his own way.

I am not saying that being a submissive wife is always easy. Just as it is never easy to lay down your own will for another’s, submission in a marriage is no different. I’m simply saying that being a submissive wife does not require you to *act* a certain way or fit into a certain mold. It requires a lot of prayer and maybe even a lot of practice, but it doesn’t require that you lose your own unique personality.


2 thoughts on “The true meaning of Submission… and what it means to you

  1. Jane’s Husband here. My thoughts.

    I think the story of Leah and Rachel is one the most important lessons in the bible about marriage. Rachel was attractive and wild and pulled on Jacob’s heart strings. Leah was dutiful and pious, an obedient and submissive daughter. She held no interest for Jacob who was drawn to the more beautiful and wilder Rachel. The Lord however, greatly favored the more obedient and submissive Leah and she becomes Jacob’s first wife and is blessed with many Children. One can guess that she seldom felt Jacob’s whip on her behind but if Jacob felt she needed correction it seems certain she would have submitted willingly. One can only guess how many times the unruly Rachel felt her husbands whip on her behind and how long it took her to become as submissive and obedient as her sister. It seems very doubtful that Jacob, a strong-willed Godly man would have neglected to do the work her father perhaps neglected. One can suspect her father was a bit too soft hearted to properly train his more beautiful daughter. However, her father did heed the Lord’s desire to see Leah rewarded for her obedience and submissive nature. One can guess that eventually Leah earned Jacob’s love with her obedience and submission. The moral here I believe is that the Lord thinks that obedience and submission in a wife is to be rewarded, a lesson for all Christian women.

    Liked by 1 person

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